Dribble by Chuck Ferris

ALL YOU WONDERFUL J-LAND FRIENDS

2008-07-02T09:46:00.000-07:00

CHUCK HAS LEFT THE BUILDING!

Dear Ones,

He's left the planet, actually, I assume. Your comments and prayers, your thoughts really worked, Chuck released his body knowing he was truly loved at 10pm PDT July 1st. He told us weeks ago he wouldn't be around for the 4th, he was correct.

Your comments are a huge blessing to all of his family, and we thank you soooooo much! Wish I could be more creative, more like Dad in how I express this to you...but I know he would say it something like this:

THE CURMUDGEON HAS CHECKED OUT!

Our love and thanks for a great ride for our Dad, Grandfather, Cousin, Uncle and old friend! You are ALL AWESOME! I probably cannot respond to each and every one of you, so please know our heartfelt thanks and hugs across the web! XXXXOOOO

Blessings, Kate and family

Tags: so long, thank you, blessings in disguise

Pitch hitting

2008-07-01T18:19:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone, this is Chuck's daughter, Kate...you remember me from when Chuck was in the hospital at the beginning of the year. We'll I'm pitch hitting again...making it up as I go along though. No dictation at this time from Chuck./

I was chatting with BAMA who let me know you would all like to be updated on Chuck's progress. He's had a major downturn. Here's what I think Chuck needs from all you friends now...prayers, thoughts, comments that let him know how much you've enjoyed your relationship with him, and that it is okay to let go, and go on to the next life experience, whatever that may be. He is struggling and fighting, though his body is ready to lie down and be in bliss. I will be happy to read them all to him, to encourage him relax and let go.

Sometimes without realizing it friends and family can hold on too tight to a person, and especially one who is so dedicated to all of us...we can hold them back from moving on. It seems his friends here at the "old folks' home" have been planning a big Chuck fest for 4th of July, and so he's been conflicted in his mind I think. Anyway, probably more than you needed to hear, or that he would want me to say. I'm not sure.

Chuck's whole family knows how important all of you have been to him!!! Please hold us all in your thoughts and prayers for a peaceful transition.

Namaste, Kate

Tags: dying, living, release, peacefullness

Guest Typist

2008-06-27T11:36:00.000-07:00

Hello, my name is Stanley Hahn, designated typist for Chuck today. And it is an honor. Chuck says (he is dictating)...

....I had a bad morning! The staff came in to transfer me from toilet to wheel chair but I was so weak that my legs gave out, and I sank to the floor. Then it took the whole staff to lift me into my chair. I was exhausted, but unhurt. Now when I have to transfer, I have to call for help...not one or two...but three care givers come to help me make the transfer.

....Talk about loss of dignity...but I am well, even if out of breath.

I would like to make this funny, but I don't know haw to make the situation funny. Suggestions appreciated. Stanley types 10 times faster that I, ( or so he thinks) so it should be easier to read. Thanks, Stanley for your typing.

Gotta go...time for lunch but I'm not finished with breakfast yet...still sipping on a soda for breakfast.

See you later!

Upside Down Night

2008-06-25T02:15:00.000-07:00

Went to bed at eight PM. Woke up at two AM. Now everythng is out of whack. I'll talk to you in the morning wehn I am awake again...hope not still.

LATER 7:15 am Finally got some rest. Waiting for breakfast now. Took tour of garden. Twiggy has the nicest crop of second bloom red roses in the garden. More later.

LATER: 8:45 am cALLED COUSIN bERTHA.NO ANSWER. nO ANSWER FROM A NURSNG HOME? cURIOUS. sorry about the Caps Key... too lazy to type ofver. Breakfast a bite of Oatmeal and one poached egg. Not bad. Off to play music for exercise class. More Latler.

11AM: They had a doll show here with a lot of pretty dolls; etnic types and I was able to play some music for the fun and fitness..Mandy the nurse came and treated my various ailments. We had a heart to heart talk. More later.

2:30 PM Lunch was a piece of chcken, mandarine oranges, cottage cheese. Then a half an hour nap. ..More later...

3:00 PM Got put on new protocol. Every transfer... chair to chair, chair to toilet, chair to bed, bed to anything...will be done with caregivers' aid. Changes my life style IMMENSELY.

4:00 PM Girlfriend Anne came over. We had supper together,then held hands through two and half men.

9:00 PM A caregiver put me to bed where I stayed until four am. Two caregivers got me up and I wnt out and looked at the waning moon.

4:00 AM Wrote this. That's it for this entry.

Beein Too Pooped to Write

2008-06-24T08:20:00.000-07:00

I have been too weak and too tired to write any stories or amusing anecdotes. How I miss it. It is the best therapy for me.

Meanwhile, the archives are here... going back several years. All on file, and all as good as new.

Found: Cousin Bertha

2008-06-22T09:22:00.000-07:00

I found Cousin Bertha. She is in a nursing home in Texas. She was mighty uncomvortable... but so am I, today. I did my best to be cheery.

The family moved her on Wednesday, and I learned about it today, Sunday, that same time as her daughter did.

more news later as it comes in....

A Word about Printers

2008-06-20T15:37:00.000-07:00

..and the word is &%#@^. or it might even be "help"

Now, Angie, I am not whining. This is plain cussing.

Are you in the market for a printer? I would say avoid HP Deskjet 350 All in One. I bought it because it was cheap. But it was built to gobble ink like a sailor with a 12 hour leave drinks beer. I paid less than a hundred for the machine, but since then, I have paid over a hundred dollars a year for ink.

But worse than that... the software has some idiosyncratic twist. If you run out of paper, it sulks for days. It was my own fault. I let it run out and I knew about the sulk. Now I have no printer for God knows how long.

But I'm not whining. I am swearing.

PS... The Inkoholic is working again. I must remember not to let it run out of paper or ink.

Snap amd Ginger

2008-06-20T06:25:00.000-07:00

Snap and Ginger

When I was a child, my grandmother used o make up stories about two little puppies, one named Snap and one named Ginger. That’s Gingersnap, the cookie, you see, but it was not obvious to me at age six.

When I was a parent I made up stories about Snap and Ginger for my children, AND when they were parents they made up Snap and Ginger stories for their kids, my grandchildren. So Snap and Ginger lived on for six generations. That’s some life span for a pair of playful puppies.

Yesterday I wrote a story for a self-imposed writing assignment called Rover on duty. I put it online in my Blog and later in reading it discovered in wonder what a neat Snap and Ginger story it could become.

I played with the story this way.

Snap on Duty

We bought and moved into the Temecula house because of the wonderful back yard. It was fenced on one side by the house, and on another by spectacular view of the whole valley below, but on the other two sides was a gigantic .fieldstone sculptured wall.

It had been built by an artist whose name was never given to us. Most of the stones were granite stones found in dry riverbeds, but some were bit of lava, rough lava, that contrasted with the main smooth blocks of field stone.

It was plumbed for a fountain, but there was no recycling pump, so obviously when it was built times were different and water was plentiful. It was just as beautiful dry with cactus plants as it would have been with moss and water lilies. One flat fieldstone projected from the wall and was meant, no doubt, to hold a plant

Our two cats, Missy and Goneril liked to climb. Inside the house. they climbed furniture and drapes to sleep on curtain rods or the fireplace mantle. Outside it was bushes or trees or especially the rock wall, and they liked to loll on the projecting flat rock. Snap, the self-appointed leader of the menagerie watched in envy as they scaled the wall to their private sanctuary. After all, he was top dog around here He was master of the feeding dish and got the choice scraps first. He had a spot beneath the kitchen table witn Ginger, and cats were not allowed. But the cats had a place of their own, and Snap was not allowed.

Snap began to climb. He was no cat, so his first efforts were feeble.

Ginger used to say to him, “Cut that out, Snap. You’re not a cat. Why try to climb like one?“

Snap answered with histail drooping, “What a wonderful look-out place. Why should it be wasted on cats?” And he watched as the cats nimbly leaped from stone to stone.

Snap thought if I could just choose the right rocks, I could climb that too.

Ginger, although she did not approve of his cat-like behavior, said, ”Snap, remember when you were a puppy? You were learning to climb the stairs. You had to learn to get one hind foot up before you could get on the next step..”

“Foolishness,” said Snap. “That’s the way humans walk…one hind leg after another, and not using their front legs at all.”

“Well, watch the cats then. See if you steal their secret.:”

Snap just growled at that thought. But later he tried climbing the rock wall by finding places for his hind feet first, and his front feet later. Lo and behold, he made it part way up the wall before tumbling down, painfully striking the sharp stones.

He yelped in pain, but Ginger licked his wounds, and soon he was ready to try again. And this time he got farther before he tumbled again, and the fall was farther too. Ouch.

Eventually he was able to climb to the flat rock. The cats were promptly evicted and had to settle for individual pieces of lava to nest upon,. It seems a cat can sleep on anything somehow. Rover was king of the mountain.

From his elevated post, Snap had a full view of the whole back yard and the streets and sidewalks in front of the house.

Snap was a “greeter“. That is, any person on the sidewalk had to be greeted by Snap.

If Snap approved the person then Ginger greeted too, but sbe always waited to see whether Snap would bark at the stranger, or happily wag his tail in welcome. If that person had a dog with them so much the better. That meant a smelling contest with each dog trying to smell the other‘s behind.

When the smelling and the greeting was over, Snap dashed back to his elevated post on the wall. and became the lookout for the next visitor. Ginger settled down at the foot of the wall, and said to herself, “Cats are cats, and dogs are dogs, and dogs should not try be what they are not.” .

Dog on a Rock

2008-06-19T10:35:00.000-07:00

I lay in bed playing a writers’ game. There is no need for “writer’s block”. The world is too full of colorful images and adventures.

Let’s see. Take any simple phase. Dog on a rock came to mind.. Two nouns: dog, rock. Dog is modified. He is on a rock. , We can do anything we like with the dog. We can make him a Chihuahua or a Mastiff or anything in-between and any color or any temperament we want. However, he is on a rock. The rock is unmodified be it Igneous or sedimentary. Is the dog on lava or sandstone? We decide.

I played with the phrase this way.

Rover on Duty

Our two cats, Missy and Goneril liked to climb. Inside they climbed furniture and drapes to sleep on curtain rods or the fireplace mantle. Outside it was bushes or trees or especially the rock wall, and they liked to loll on the projecting flat rock. Rover, our Australian Shepard watched in envy as they scaled the wall to their private sanctuary. After all, he was top dog around here He was master of the feeding dish and got the choice scraps first. He had a spot beneath the kitchen table and cats were not allowed. But here they were with a place of their own,

Rover began to climb. He was no cat, so his first efforts were feeble. Eventually he was able to climb to the flat rock. The cats were promptly evicted and had to settle for individual pieces of lava to nest upon,. It seems a cat can sleep on anything somehow. Rover was king of the mountain.

From his elevated post, Rover had a full view of the whole back yard and the streets and sidewalks in front of the house.

Rover was a “greeter“. That is, any person on the sidewalk had to be greeted by Rover. If that person had a dog with them so much the better. That meant a smelling contest with each dog trying to smell the other‘s behind.

When the smelling and the greeting was over, Rover dashed back to his elevated post on the wall. and became the lookout for the next visitor.

That’s why when you say “dog on a rock” to me, it brings back images of a wonderful rock wall draped with two lazy cats and a happy greeter. .

Great Cousin Bertha Hunt

2008-06-18T16:29:00.000-07:00

Hospitals sure are tight lipped. Almost every day I call Cousin Bertha in the hospital and we chat. Chat about nothing, but we chat.

Today I called and was told, "She is no longer here." Nothing more/

Nothing more, just she is no longer here. Leaves me wondering did she die? Surely the family would have called me. So she must have moved. But where"

Stay tuned.

Joke on Myself

2008-06-17T19:27:00.000-07:00

Freudian slip, I guess. I had no intention of adding an entry...but what happened... I meant to flip to another site and instead... I clicked on the add and entry button. What does that say about me? I am compelled to write drivel for Dribble, whether I am ready or not.

I am really not... I am drugged out of my skull. I am on 4 kinds of pain medication. A patch, a nerve deadener, vicoden, and a lanacaine lotion. It is a wonder I can write at all.

I seem to have lost my tact. I was having a conversation with good friend Wilma and I told her she was not diplomatic enough. How's that for my diplomacy. She turned and rolled away silently. I hope the hurt doesn't last too long. I need friends these days/

Girl friend Anne came to the old folks home to see me, and to make smores. The activity director was serving smores and Anne knew she would need help in making and serving the thirty or so old folks who remember this treat from their girl scout camping days. Do you remember smores?

And Jackie, a former activity director came to see me, and other old friends here. We had a great time. These visits from old friends, and one from a new friend, are good therapy. If I am sitting here in pain, but start to chat with a visitor I soon forget the pain and focus on the visit. Visitors are better than pain pills.

Well, how was this for an entry that I had no intention of making in the first place?

So. How Was the Music Session?

2008-06-14T15:46:00.000-07:00

The music appreciation lesson was exhausting. Sheila talked to Doris any time I wanted to speak. How she managed to time it was amazing. I am sure she heard NOTHING of what I said.

Before the session I took the daily song book with the orange cover and put it out of sight so it would not distract. Today is different..not fun and fitness. I put it behind the drape but left an inch showing. Mistake. Semi-autistic Jeanie spotted it during the lecture.

"Orange paper," she screamed.

"There are 47 strings on a harp," I continued

"ORANGE. ORANGE PAPER." screamed Jeanie..

"And seven foot pedals the harpist has to use." I said.

"ORANGE PAPER. ORANGE PAPER. BEHIND THE DRAPE"

"That's the song book. I put it there."

"Oh."Said Jeannie

It was exhausting. Finally the 35 minutes were over. I would say "never again" but I am on the schedule for next Saturday too.

Dinner with he Cat (RERUN)

2008-06-14T07:48:00.000-07:00

Dinner with the Cat

For a while I lived with my step-dad. We were both single, and he did the cooking.

One day when he was away I had to fix my own dinner. I looked in the cupboard to see what was available. I found a bright red can of Jack Mackerel and I opened that. I had mackerel and crackers.

When step-dad returned he asked, “What did you have for dinner?”

“I had some mackerel from the cupboard.”

“What? I keep that to feed the cat.”

“Tasted pretty good,” I said.

After that he would frequently ask, “Shall I fix us some dinner, or did you have dinner with Missy?”

Still Groggy

2008-06-14T06:20:00.000-07:00

Up at 5:30 am and still groggy. The reason I am up so early is because I went to sleep early...on he recliner in front of the television.

I woke up on the recliner after a couple of hours. The news was on but I had no idea what they were talking about. Then it was a struggle to get into bed. A jillion appliances to turn off, pills to take, the john to visit, PJs to don, all almost woke me up before I could flop down and go to sleep again.

I have a tablemate who sleeps until 11:30 am, getting up just in time for lunch. Sounds wonderful to me.

Music Apreciation in the Old Folks' Home

2008-06-13T21:14:00.000-07:00

Almost every time I try something serious at the old folks' home,it ends in chaos. Nevertheless I tr again.

Because they needed something on the activity schedule, and because there is no staff here on week ends, they put "Music with Chuck" on the Saturday schedule. The old folks are used o hearing my keyboard in the morning at Fun And Fitness. I play background music for exercises.

But for this session I have chosen THE HARP. A keyboard allows you to substitute any instrument into a recorded number So for tomorrows session, I will change all the numbers into harp mmusic. Between numbers I will tell what little I know about classical harps.

It will be a music appreciation lesson. The trouble is that attendance in NOT compulsory and my audience will soon escape. Wouldn't you stay to hear how a Sousa march sounds played on a harp?

I will report tomorrow.

So, Okay, I'll Explain It

2008-06-12T10:00:00.000-07:00

First,see the entry below to see what the joke was: Turnips really make a strw, but Parsnips stand alone

You see, the flavor of turnips in a stew make it full and tasty. They add to the stew and make it better. Parsnips, on the other hand, are strong and root-like. They only make the stew rangy and weed-like. But boiled, buttered parsnips by themselves are delicious. They stand alone.

Now, what is the message here? Is this a metaphor for life? Of course it is Some people when in a crowd dominate and ruin the conversation. When some people are there,committees cannot function

But if you have a converrsation with that person by himself, there is no crowd to impress, and he can be himself and he is delightful company. He is the parsnip. Alone he is fine, but in a crowd (stew) he ruins the business at hand

There. NOW do you get it.

I Don't Get It

2008-06-12T09:37:00.000-07:00

I was in my recliner and not abut to move A visitor stopped by my door and remarked, "I always look to see what slogan you have posted for the day."

"Oh," said I, "I haven't posted it yet. But come on in You can help"

He came in and I handed him today's slogan It said, "Turnips really make a stew, but Parsnips stand alone" He was clearly puzzled. That amused me. I asked hm to hang it on the door He did so with great reluctance. Clearly he did not get it.

I said, " Sometimes there is nothing to get. That is part of the fun/" He hung the slogan hesitating and looking at me. But he hung it, and departed, no doubt shaking his head.

That, too, is part of the fun...for me.

Is That All You Wanted?

2008-06-11T07:14:00.000-07:00

What human condition warrants thirteen different kinds of medicine? That s what there were in the tin holder I dropped. Thirteen bottles of prescription meds. All over the floor. In the tin holder they were in order...numbered according to when I was to take each. Now they lay like pied type, in disarray.

I left them for at least an hour while I considered the matter. I cannot pick up all thirteen from my wheelchair. I pulled the cord for the caregiver. And nobody came.

So I got my "grabber", that reaching tool for handicapped folks and began to lift each one onto the bed where could resort them. They were round and escaped the grabber easily. Neretheless, I had them all but two by the time the caregiver arrived. She bent over, picking them up easly, and puting them on the bed.

Then she asked, "Is that all you wanted?" The "You lazy lout" was in my imagination. No it wasn't all, it is just that your timing was perfect

More About Sherlock Holmes

2008-06-10T05:36:00.000-07:00

Rarely has a fictional character taken on such complete personality. You want to know what he looked like? Yep, Basil Rathbone was the best. But the non-Doylelike lines he was given to utter somewhat spoil the image '

Holmes' roommate and frequent companion in his adventures was Dr. Watson. Watson's first name is rarely mentioned...so rarely that Doyle himself forgot and give him a different name in some stories. Holmes himself called Watson by his last name as in "Elementary, my Dear Watson." Incidentally, that line never appears in any of the stories.

Holmes has mastered the art of the non-clue in solving cases. For instance he found Silver Blaze, a missing racehorse by using "The remarkable behavior of he dog in the night time."

"But the dog did nothing," points out Watson.

"That was the remarkable behavior," answers Holmes. He surmised the dog should have barked but didn't... indicating that the dog knew the intruder and leading Holmes to the solution.

Watson was nothing like the obtuse character portrayed by Nigel Bruce. He wasn't dull or dumb. He just couldn't keep up with Sherlock...who could? Strangely in the many version of Sherlock Holmes tales in movies if the portrayal of Homes is good, the portrayal of Watson is poor, and vice versa. In very few are both true to the original stories. A recent PBS series had good versions of both Watson and Holmes, but then... put Holmes' words in Watson's mouth and even worse, had Holes saying things that Watson had said in the original tale.

But they couldn't fool me...I knew my Doyle, and I knew who actually said what.

The Case of the Crippled Penguin

2008-06-09T16:01:00.000-07:00

You're right. None of Conan Doyle's Tales was ever called that. But I just wanted to brag a bit. When I was an avid reader, one of my favorites was Sherlock Holmes. At one time, if you opened a complete collection of Sherlock Holmes tales at random, and started reading, I could within in a sentence or two tell you which tale it was from. I was that familiar with the stories. In fact, you have probably noticed a few figures of speech from Sherlock Holmes tales right here in Dribble.

Just bragging.

I've Been Busy

2008-06-09T06:03:00.000-07:00

Have you been missing me? I've been missing you. I have been busy.. trying to get my pain medication balanced. Need enough to ease the hurting, but not enough to make me loopy, confused, lost in a haze.

I am confused enough as it is. For example, I cannot do simple mental arithmetic. I woke at 4:37, but I couldn't rouse myself enough to get out of bed until 4:51. I asked myself how long it took me to waken. I tried to subtract 37 from 51 in my head. I simply could not..nor can I now. I will need to write it down. That bothers me. Is it the medication that has dulled my thinking? Or is it just me, dumb as a box of rocks?

Life in the old folks home goes on... as goofy as ever A caregiver was leaving my room.

CAREGIVER: Do you want your door open or closed

ME: Open, please.

The caregiver goes out and shuts the door. I was amused. But then a different caregiver was in a few minutes later and as she was leaving asked

2ND CAREGIVER Do you want your door open or closed?

ME: Open, please

Caregiver leaves...shutting the door. Now I am laughing out loud.

Life goes on, from one weird thing to anoter.

The Presidmtial Election is Over

2008-06-09T05:32:00.000-07:00

It makes me mad The polls. Today they announce hat the presidential race has been boiled down to the results of a few states. Most of us don't count. Why vote? The surveys have done it for you

That's what happened to my favorite, Hillary. No need to wait until the delegates meet You're finished. Get out. We have decided.

If I wee a delegate, I wouldn't even go to the convention No need...except for the gifts and the free booze. (..and tell me, AOL, why did you change my text color in the middle of an entry?)

How Do You Say NO....

2008-06-04T11:23:00.000-07:00

How do you say no to people who won't take NO for an answer?

Jan means well, but her enthusiasm blinds her to what others are thinking. She wants this year's Fourth of July activity to outshine last years. Last year we had wonderful fireworks, but a long dull, uncoordinated waiting period. Darkness comes slowly in July. No need shooting off pretty displays before 9 PM. And the old folks usually go to bed by eight. Waiting until 9 is an ordeal. Year before last we shot off the fireworks in the daylight. What a waste that was.

Jan wants community singing before the fireworks, and will not take no for an answer. She expects me to provide the keyboard and amplifier and when I said I couldn't, she ignored that and said Of course I could.

This year I am wracked by pain, and loaded with pain pills. I am so weak I have to call for help to pull up my pants. But I am supposed to provide the amplifier.

When next I see Jan I will say, "Here is the amplifier, here is the keyboard...take them NOW. Practice hooking them up before the fourth so you can run to Radio Shack and get the patch cords you need. They will be closed on the Fourth."

Jan took the address of this Blog. Maybe she will read this and understand that N O means No.

DONE...She was delighted wth the keyboard and the amplifier and went off happily to Radio Shack for the patch cords needed. It is going to be a delightful fourth of July Pageant after all.

Me and My Colaborator, James Whitcomb Riley

2008-05-31T21:58:00.000-07:00

" Chuck, I need a poem to go on the bulletin board, for Father's Day. Can you find one on the Internet?" Kathy, the activity director at the Old Folks' Home, asked the question while staring at the blank board.

"Sure," I said automatically. One can find anything on the Internet. Right?

Well I looked and was directed to book sellers and anthologies of epic odes. "I could make up one quicker than this," I thought So I did.

It was simple, told a little story, and was sentimental. "What if she asks who wrote it," I asked myself. She doesn't want home grown junk. She wants a classic. Quick I thought, who wrote sentimental stuff. Ah, I will tell her that it is from James Whitcomb Riley. That will satisfy her as to it's worth...he is a genuine author.

She didn't ask. She merely said "It's too long. I need one page." Back to the drawing board. I edited it like mad making compound sentences out of whole paragraphs.

"Is this all right?"

She barely glanced at it,....Heck, if fit the space. "Fine," she said.

So here is the prose piece that James Whitcomb Riley and I wrote for the Father's day bulletin board.

DAD
I was too tiny to remember, but Dad took me out of the play pen and put me on the carpet to learn to crawl
Dad held my hand when I began to toddle and held my hand when we went for walks
Dad lifted me high when the waves broke around us and held the back of my swim suit so I could dog paddle and clapped and cheered when I swam across the pool alone
Dad cheered when I ran my first race in high school.,.. And cheered when I came in third…..from last.
Dad taught me to drive and gave me the keys to the car so I could go on my first date.
Dad was my Best Man and held the wedding ring so I could place it on her finger.
Dad walked the waiting room when I waited for my first baby and Dad took the baby out of the play pen so she could learn to crawl.

Two New Photos

2008-05-31T17:05:00.000-07:00

Things have calmed down since my last frenetic entry. I have located and talked to my Cousin Bertha. Yep, she was in a hospital and resting comfortably.

I was able to log into Photobucket and upload my two neat pictures. The first by a professional photographer Roger Wyan who took it as part of a documentary he is making about Hospice Patients. It went along with a long interview and I guess I did all right.. I only cried twice. It is a neat photo of me at my daily job... adding entries to my blog. He let me use it here. thanks Roger.

And this homemade photo of me visiting with my great-grandson Evan. It was the first time I had seen him. He is four months old and as happy a baby as I have seen. He smiled at Great-grandfather, and that means a lot

Shown are Evan, four months, his dad, Luke, his grandmother and grandfather Jo and Steve and me, Great-grandfather. I guess you can figure out who is who.

Cfushed

2008-05-31T09:53:00.000-07:00

I cnnot explain how ctushed I feel this morning. M toolbar is gone AGAIN and I cannot connect to Dribble without a battle. Then I try to reach olf familiar photobucket to add a picture of my new great grandson.. and I cannot. Bucket has about four different main pages and I always reache the wrong one... the tool bur used to keep me straight. Finally I rech the log in oage and try to log u=in.. it wont accepot my password... somehow I have THAT wrong too. fo I ask for my opass word and it says..NOT in database. I paid them real money..twenty five bucks or more..and they dont recognise my name anynore. so I come back here and thpe this without proofingin it. It just shows how depressed I am. I feel the frustration in the oit of my stomach. and I dont mine whining about it. sorry angie

And, that's not all. I tried to make my usual morning call to my Cousin Bertha, age 92, at the hospital where I talked to her yestrerday mornng, and am told "She's NOT a patient here." I understand... maybe they/ve moved her to another hospital.. sure..but where? Can the operator tell me? No, of coursse not.

At least she didn't tel me to call the "looooong distance" operatoer. A grim joke like that wojld have been all I could take this morning.

Cursed... I TOLD THE MACHINE... 14 POIHT. And it came jp tiny ten or something less.

Hey, I Didn't Get No Brown Sugar

2008-05-29T08:54:00.000-07:00

The first thing we learn as children, as soon as we can speak sentences is "please" and "thank you". And judging by the conversations in the dining room of the old folks home, it is the first to go when we get old. Here, as a convenience to those you you who may visit an old folks home is an interpretation from old folks lingo to normal polite English.

Hey, I didn't get no brown sugar

Translation: May I have some brown sugar

You forgot my grapefruit

Translation: May I have some Grapefruit, please.

You're in MY chair.

Translation: If you'd like to sit there toeay, I will move over here.

Coffee!

Translastion: May I have a refill, please.

A Year and a Half

2008-05-27T11:35:00.000-07:00

Answering your question. How many nights does it generally take George to finish the whole alphabet? Jackie.

George is a wonderful volunteer. He comes weekly, seats himself aa the piano and plays for TWO HOURS. Most musicians play for an hour when they come, but George is just getting warmed up at the one hour mark. And he holds his senior audience too, remarkable feat.

George doesn't take requests...he plays alphabetically through his immense catalogue of songs. Show tunes popular songs ballads, and sing-alongs all appear...in order of their titles. If there are four torch songs in a row, that's the way we will hear them.

He used to take requests. He would write down the title of the tune you wanted to hear. During the week he would find it in his library, and bring in and play it the next time he came. But he found that, even when he done the search, brought it, and played it...the person who requested it forgot to come that evening. Then he had to replace it in its exact spot in the library. So now he sticks to the alphabet. And we love it. We hear songs we would never have heard if he used any other system of making his play list.

But to answer your question... what was the question?

How many nights does it generally take George to finish the whole alphabet?

Oh yes, thank you.

We have gone through the alphabet with George at least once... and it took A YEAR AND A HALF.

Shall We Dance?

2008-05-27T11:04:00.000-07:00

John, nearly ninety, loves to dance. When there is music of any kind he is tapping his toe or bouncing. He is married but he'll ask any lady handy to dance.

It is fun to see the ladies he chooses. Ladies whom you would never suspect could walk across the room will dance with him, polka, foxtrot, jitterbug, or waltz.

The other evening I was playing a Memorial Day Tribute to our honored dead on my keyboard. I chose to read In Flanders Fields, a somber poem and play soft elegiac background music. However I had just started the funeral music when John appeared and started to dance to the dirge.

I had to seat him next to me and actually hold his hands to keep him from snapping his fingers in rhythm to the hymn. It was amusing, but it somehow spoiled the seriousness of the moment. Some people were born to dance...no matter what.

Memorial DAy

2008-05-26T09:50:00.000-07:00

I have a feeling that Memorial Day will not be very memorable. It started at breakfast with the "silent treatment".

ME Oh, great the pancakes are served with strawberries and whipped cream. I love 'em like that.

TABLEMATE. (Stares silently at me)

ME (Hearing some some coughs) Do kids still get Whooping Cough? I know they still get measles and mumps but I don;t hear about Whooping Cough anymore.

TABLEMATE (Stares silently at me)

So I left and began reading journals. My daughter IM'd me and asked "How was 'Fun and Fitness'?" I had complexly forgotten I was supposed to play my keyboard for Fun and Fitness. I hurried to the parlor, but nobody was there. Zero. No Fitness...No Fun

The housekeepers are off today... no room cleaning, no bed making. The laundry lady is here, thank goodness, and picked up clothes to be washed. But there is no staff, no activity director, the activity board is blank. Even our Rummy game is questionable...one player got her feelings hurt and has quit, and she was the only one who talked there. It will be a silent game without her.

Just Dribbling

2008-05-26T07:41:00.000-07:00

I sit in my wheelchair dozing. I am just another old man, lost in a dream world. I am still in my pajamas; I had a good night’s rest but still I doze. A dozen ideas for journal entries swirl through my head but I lack the incentive to try to get them typed. I sit by my picture window and look at the world outside. The wild winds have stopped and been replaced by gentle rain and overcast sky. There will be no star or moon gazing tonight.

A mocking bird has built a nest in a bush just outside my window. It is strange to be so low, but it is all right, there are no cats in our court yard. She dashes back and forth, in an out of the bush. I wonder if she is still nest building, or is she busy feeding hungry fledglings. Will I get to see the babies try their wings. I’d love to see that first frantic fluttering flight.

Time to dress and go get a pancake; it is pancake day at the old folks’ home. I wonder which cook is on duty this holiday; well done pancake chef or under-done flabby doughy mess-around in the kitchen self-anointed would-be cook. Pity I finished my store-bought bran muffins yesterday.

The care givers just came in and dressed the old man, and they told me I am an hour early. It is seven, not eight am. Time for more reflections.

I had a nice day yesterday; grandson who lives in Phoenix and his wife, grandson who is single, daughter and husband were all here, and we went to lunch. Grandfather sat in the middle and was the center of attention. I was puffed up plenty. Later we came back to the old folks home and had a good visit with laughter and reminiscences.

In the evening I was responsible for getting our volunteer pianist. George, set up with lights and coffee. I went to the dining room and got some Lentil soup, a favorite of mine, in a coffee cup and took it to the parlor where George was already playing.

George has a peculiar way of choosing the songs he will play in an evening. He has an extensive library of sheet music, sixty one hundred selections in fact. They are all catalogued and in alphabetical order. And that’s the way he plays them, alphabetically. Last night it was the W’s. Every song started with W, and proceeded in alphabetical order. It makes a funny mix. The ballad Waiting was followed by the rousing Waitin’ for the Robert E. Lee with the practically unknown Waiting at the Station alphabetically in between.

Last night in an hour and a half George played one half of his collection of songs starting with W. It takes four evenings to play through the I’s, with all the songs starting with I, I’ve, I’ll, and Is. Is you Is or Is you ain’t my baby.

After George was through and headed for home my responsibilities were finished and I tried to watch a bit of television but I finished the evening with a pain pill and a flop into bed. It was a glorious and fun filled day.

Life During a Depression - Meterological, That Is

2008-05-25T06:44:00.000-07:00

There are several kinds of depression. There's the Alan Greenspan type - economic. We used to blame depression on hapless Herbert Hoover, but now we can blame it on Alan Greenspan although he has retired. And there is clinical psychological depression that incapacitates unlucky folks who could otherwise lead normal lives. But I am talking about the meteorological type.

A great low pressure area settled in over Las Vegas Nevada and the winds blew like mad trying to fill the void. The wind knocked down three enormous trees at the old folks home.

Then that low pressure moved backwards, that is from East to West and settled in over the Pacific states. There it brought rain, welcome rain. It was our first rain in 86 days. It is strange to wake up in the morning and NOT see the sky. It is a gray day, and it makes our moods gray.

Gray sky in California used to be limited to June, so that it could sprinkle on outdoor graduation exercises. Strange...when school boards moved graduation to May, Mother Nature moved the rains to May, too.

Strange as it is, I am glad to see it, but my scooter will have to stay parked for a while. The Low pressure area is due to move eastward again and bring some welcome rain to the rest of North America. Yay, for the depression.

!@#$%^ My Tooklbar is Gone - AGAIN

2008-05-25T06:22:00.000-07:00

NOTE TO AOL. My toolbar has been erased Again. I simply cannot understand it, and you do not explain it to me. I am one of the fools who still pay $24.95 a month for service you are offering free to some people, but you cannot tell me why my tool bar disappears.

Why,Sob, can't I have a tool bar that I can trust. It is difficult to reconstruct it time after time. At least tell me why it crashes.

Aftermath

2008-05-24T11:54:00.000-07:00

The winds have finaly died down I went ou to take pictures of the trees that had fallen, scaring some residents, and found the landscapers had alrread cleared away one tree and were woring on another

This LOG is all that is left of the giant patriarch of the trees on our place. The trunk is three feet in diameter. The tree must be sixty years old. I loved to sit under this tree and watch the traffic go by whioe sipping my Starbucks frozen drink. I am going to mis its shade tis summer.

Lucy 77

2008-05-23T16:33:00.000-07:00

Here is my T-shirt with Lucky 77 on it. It is hard to make out...is is after all a T=shirt with syrup stains from breakfast added. I don't know an Indian from a Harley so it is up to you folks to decide for yourselves... is this the street bike that saved a dozen lives or not?

Calm

2008-05-23T07:09:00.000-07:00

It is calm outside...for the first time in days. The storm is inside, also the first time in days.

I cannot access my photobucket account. And after I paid for an upgrade/renewal.. So I opened another account under another screen names and managed after several tries to upload a picture of Lucky 77, the motorcycle on T-shirt I wrote about recently. Then I tried to post it in a Blog entry and it wont take it. Curious. Anyway it has made me stormy.

The Gods are Angry

2008-05-22T16:45:00.000-07:00

The high winds cntinue, exceeding all forecasts. You'd thin the high pressure area would have emptied into the low pressure area by now but no.

The trees continue to bend and drop branches. no more collapsing though. I like extreme weather. If it is windy, I like a gale. If it is fog, I like it so thick you cannot walk about. I like torrents of rain, and hot days. However, that does not extend to cold. I have seen below zero woeather, and I dont like it at all.

Blow ye winds Heigh Ho

High Pressure

2008-05-22T05:39:00.000-07:00

There's a high pressure area over the Pacific and a Low pressure area over Las Vegas. All that high pressure air has to rush to fill that low pressure area. And what stands in the way?

Me.

And the rest of the San Joaquin valley. My God how the wind blows.And blows. A huge tree crashed down just missing one wing of the old folks home. It was right outside Emma's room. Emma who used to think that people were out to get her, now thinks the world is out to get her.

The gardener is programmed to use the blower to collect leaves on Wednesdays brought out his blower to blow leaves into a pile, but he was not match for the wind. He was blowing from the South and the Wind was blowing from the North and the leaves were caught between and swirled in a sort of reverse tornado and swooped up and were caught by the wnd overhead and carried off to somewhere in the next county..

I went out at four am to look at the Moon. It was beautiful. /Thy sky was clear, the Moon was full, and the wind rustled the trees steadily. Within the next twenty four hours the moon will pass within a few degrees of a bright star. I don't know the name of that bright star, but I can Google it. You can Google the sky, just like you can Google the whole Earth. I will find a sky chart and see what bright star is due south at 4 am, I was enthralled, but I had to retreat because of the wind chill.

The ride in my power chair was rough bumping over fallen branches, and a bit spooky, knowing that at any moment a huge branch could break off and fall, or that another whole tree could give up the battle and topple down where you were passing It was a rewarding adventure and I made it all in my pajamas. I came in and the caregivers gave me a hot cup of fresh coffee. I enjoyed the high pressure over the Pacific..

Cast Adrit on a Sea of Insanity

2008-05-21T07:25:00.000-07:00

I live in an unreal world. My neighbors, all as aged as I, wander the halls looking for their parents, or ask directions to the dining room even in their second or third year of residence, or laugh hysterically at spilled milk or dropped tableware.

Charlotte and I used to stay afloat on our own little raft of rational thought looking at the waves senility that broke around us. Now she is gone. I miss her terribly.

Lucky 77

2008-05-20T09:15:00.000-07:00

Some time ago I bought a bargain T-shirt. It was on a close-out rack. I chose it because it was cheap. I paid no attention to the colorful illustration that was on the front, and I have worn it many times without noticing what it said.

However a motorcycle buff stopped me and looked closely at the illustration. "What model is that," he asked.

I looked at the illustration as though for the first time. Lo and Behold is was an antique motorcycle and the legend printed beneath it was Lucky 77. He said that it looked like a Harley something or other and asked, "Why was it called Lucky 77?"

"Oh," I said, lying in my teeth, "I wear this shirt to try to keep the legend of old 77 alive."

"I never heard that legend," said the would-be biker.

"Lucky was a street bike, that the owner used to ride to hill climbs. Seventy Seven was the number he had painted on the side for competition. He went right from street to hill climb without even taking off the license plates."

"Was he called Lucky because he won a lot of competitions?"

"Oh, no. He rarely won anything. He was a street bike remember. He was called lucky because his owners were never seriously hurt. He rolled down the mountainside more times than..." I paused trying to think of a metaphor for things that rolled down mountainsides, but before I could my listener said, "Wow."

I was on a roll myself and I made up some more of the legend. "He was used by at least three owners for hill climbing. Long afterother bikers had specially adapted bikes they brought in trailers with imported knobby tires and no license plates or rear view mirrors, Lucky 77 was ridden to the meet, then up the hill and rolled down, without breaking it's owners arms or legs. Few bikes could make that statement."

When I finish here, I think I will Google Lucky 77 and see if the real legend is any better than mine.

Tags: Lucky 77, motorcycle legends

Just Fooling Around

2008-05-19T06:27:00.000-07:00

Just fooling around witn an idea for another quiz. Don't know what to call it.

Left click your mouse and run the cursor over the answer to reveal it.

WHO'S NAME COMES TO MIND?

Forrest, Forrest Gump Tom Hanks

Mickey Mouse Walt Disney Created the character and did the voice

Rainman Dustin Hoffman Tom Cruise was there too but Dustin was the curious character

Tarzan Johnny Weismuller and a dozen others have done that role

Th- Th- That's all, Folks Porky Pig

"Be vewwy quiet, I'm hunting wabbits," Elmer Fudd.

"I tot I taw a putty tat." Tweety Bir
"meep meep" Roadrunner

Sorry about that Maxwell Smart as played by Don Adams

Well you see why this is a work in progress. Your contributions are welcome. And Include the Answers, Please.

Public Domain

2008-05-19T06:11:00.000-07:00

Some folks say "Please don't steal my photos. They are copyrighted". Then they show wonderful scenes and florals that everyone would enjoy. My works and writings I love to share. Please copy. I declare tham Public Domain. Enjoy, copy, proliferate. You can find my drawings in Photostream...the link is to the left,... and in Photobucket...I'll post a link when I find it. Look it up and search for Chasferris pictures.

You're welcme.

Mickey Finn

2008-05-18T06:56:00.000-07:00

I don't know who Mickey Finn was, nor why his name became attached to "knock out" drops. But as kids we all knew that if some one slipped a potion in your drink you passed out immediately. That potion was called a Mickey. Obstreperous customer at a bar? "Slip him a Mickey" and he'll bother you no more. He's out like a light.

I gave myself a Mickey last night. I have these new pain pills and I had stomach pains last evening. "Well," said I,"It's time to try the new pills." So I took one. A few minutes later I lay down on my bed, fully clothed, to rest a moment before watching late evening TV. Un-huh. I woke up six hours later, at four am, still dressed on top of my bed. I stopped the pan by passing out. I guess I snored a roar for my throat is dry and sore.

I just remembered the name of the "knock out" drops. It is not the same as the pain pill. I may ask the doctor for some knock out pills. They might come in handy when the infrequent but extreme "phantom pain" hits me in my missing foot. How can you get a pain in a foot the has been gone since 1945? I don't know how, but it comes from time to time and nothing stops it. A knock out drop could be very handy.Just put yourself to sleep until it passes.

(Nearly) Perfect Breakfast

2008-05-17T11:01:00.000-07:00

Saturday is Corned Beef Hash day at the old folks home, and I love my hash. When I wheeled up to the table there was coffee before me in seconds. They came by with the mush...cream of wheat. I am laughing because it was so thin, I drank it from the cup.

I ordered two lightly poached eggs on toast and, of course, hash. In a matter of minutes here they came, just as ordered, a phenomenon. The eggs were on toast but there was toast for butter and jam too. The jam was orange marmalade. And there was orange juice to drink.

It was a perfect breakfast.

Except, my tablemate, Charlotte, was not there. She has passed away. I miss her.

Tags: Missing Charlotte, Lightly poached eggs on toast, Orange Marmalade

Earth, from Chuck

2008-05-16T11:52:00.000-07:00

Hello, from where ever I am. I am still on "nerve medicine". That means that most of me is out past Pluto somewhere, and my body is still in the old folks home.

I took my medicine and went to bed at ten pm. Someone woke me for breakfast at eight am. That means I had ten hours of sleep. I should be alert and lively.

Well, I am functioning. I ate breakfast, played music for the exercise class, played with the visiting dog, Lucy, visited with the visiting nurse, visited with the visiting social worker. And my body was there and acted normally. I do wish the inner self was there too.

The world looks good from here, outer space. I know what the kids meant when they said someone on drugs was "spaced out". They knew he was here where I am...somewhere beyond planets. My, the gala y is big.

D.U.I.

2008-05-15T16:48:00.000-07:00

Driving under the influence, even a handicapped person scooter, is treacherous. Under drugs, you are"not there".

I was driving my scooter down the hall and thought, "Oh, look. I am driving into the wall." It was like watching a movie of someone else drive his scooter into the wall. I continued thinking, "That's not good. Hitting wall is bad. I should not hit the wall." With that thought I became myself again and turned the scooter. Fortunately I was going slow enough for my impaired brain to recognize danger, and to talk it over with myself, come to a conclusion, and then, after all that, act.

Interesting reaction. It says on a lot of my medicines, if you take this don't drive, I see why

Lucy in the Sky

2008-05-15T10:37:00.000-07:00

Started a new medication last night. Well, I slept. And slept. Eight hours....without bathroom visits even.

This morning I am drugged higher than a High School Junior on Prom night. Feeling no pain... or much of anything. Just floating.

I usually have two tablemates for breakfast. Alas, one has passed away and the other did not show up. I do not like to breakfast alone so I joined a lady nearby who was also alone. We had a nice chat. Then she left and her usual tablemate lady showed up. We had a nice chat, too. Or rather I had nice listen. She was loaded with things to say... her husband is the hospital and she hasn't had any good listener for a while...so I was it. But I was able, being drugged, to listen and seem to attend to her plaint.

I took my morning allotment of the jolly pills and my regular assortment of pills. And here I am... Well part of me is... another part is out flying in his old Ercoupe looking down at the world from above like Jonathan Livingston Seagull.

You are too young to remember Oscar Levant. He was visible to all of us dally on television. Early he was an irascible outspoken blunt person famous because of his remarkable piano skills. He was talented and respected for his musical skills even though his interpersonal socializing was rough. Then he started pain medications.

Drugged, he became mellow, social, easy going, and amusing. Half asleep he chatted amiably, though sometimes his jokes were understood by himself alone. He was still loved for being himself, even though he struggled to make the piano behave the way it once did.

Perhaps that will happen to me. Hopefully the drugged out-of-it me will be able to charm my friends and I can be a good listener for folks who need to talk..

Stay tuned, Watch the show. I don't play the piano much, but the computer keyboard still works. Learn to "read through" the typos...spell check can't catch them all.. I am hiving fun and the world looks good from up here.

Couldn't Find Email Address

2008-05-14T10:01:00.000-07:00

Pardon me while I use dribble for parsonal letter -- I couldn't find Angie's email address...but you can listen in..it's okay.

Angie asked if my Mother had remarried and how I lost my father at such and early age. Father drowned before I was one. Mother dated several fellows, who befriended me, but one was my favorite, Bart, and they were married. I continued living with my Grandparents and they lived next door.

But here...this link tells trhe story too.

And, Oh, Mary, I did not shoot any Italians in WWII. I shot at a German tank, but the shells bounced off. The rattle of bullets on the outside of their tank may have given them a headache, though.

Chuck's Amazing Answer Machine

2008-05-14T09:24:00.000-07:00

I actually love the consternation I cause with my magic answer machine.

Two comments...

1 No answers were revealed for me ;o(

2 These are great and the way it reveals ...love Jan xx

The answers are printed right alnng with the questions... except they are printed in the color of the background and so are invisitble...until you use your mouse to "select" them. Then they are visible. Makes it seem like magic...and adds, I hope, to the fun.

Here are lot more to play with....

Quotes
Guess to whom each quote is attributed. Left click your mouse and run cursor over the answer to reveal it.

You're Fired -- Donald Trump

Kiss My Grits -- Flo (in Alice)

Frankly, my dear, I don't give a damn -- Rhett Butler

It was beauty killed the beast -- Denham (King Kong)

I'll be back --Terminator

Tora! Tora! Tora! -- Yamamoto

Sorry about that! -- Agent 86

Life is like a box of chocolates. You Never know what you are going to get -- Forrest Gump

Me, Tarzan. You, Jane -- Johnny Weismuller

If you build it, they will come -- Field of Dreams

Blondie! -- Dagwood Bumstead

They're ba-ack! -- Little Susie

I don't think we're in Kansas anymore, Toto -- Dorothy Gale

George, tell me about the rabbits, George -- Lenny Small

I was a better man as a woman, than I ever was as a man -- Michael Dorsey, Tootsie

Bring me an empty horse -- Samuel Goldwyn

Ready when you are, Mr. DeMille -- Old Joke

Make them an offer they can't refuse -- The Godfather

One night I shot an elephant in my pajamas. How he got in my pajamas, I'll never know -- Groucho

I want to be alone -- Greta Garbo

Go ahead, Make my day -- Dirty Harry

Elementary, My dear Watson -- sherlock Holmes

Win one for the Gipper --Knute Rockne

Phone Home -- E.T.

If you want me, just whistle. You do know how to whistle, don'tyou? -- Lauren Bacall

Snootchy bootches ----- Jay & Silent Bob,

This is the begining of a beautiful friendship - Humphrey Bogart

""Did I do that?" --Steve Urkel

Boldly go where no one has gone before --Star

Quiz - Contemporary Quotes

2008-05-14T06:35:00.000-07:00

Had trouble going to sleep last night but once I made it slept all night. Great. Yesterday I spent the day re-reading old Journal entries. There are about 1,500 of them in all. I found some that I can use for re-runs.

More Contemporary Quotes

See if you can guess the person to whom this quote is attributed. Left click your mouse and run the cursor over the answer to reveal it.

Got any cheese -- Steve Urkel

I am a wee bit psychic -- Daphne Moon

I am the master of my domain -- George Costanza

I’m king of the world -- Leonardo DiCaprio

You had me at ‘hello’ -- Renee Zellweger

There’s no crying in baseball -- Tom Hanks

When is the next swan due?-- Leo Slezak as Lohengrin

Include me out -- Samuel Goldwyn

That’s a shame -- Jerry Seinfeld

The Dr. is in 5¢ -- Lucy

Fasten Your seat belts, it’s going to be a bumpy night -- Bette Davis

Come up and see me some time -- Mae West

You can't cheat an honest man -- W.C. Fields (?)

You can’t handle the truth -- Jack Nicholson

You’re Fired -- Donald Trump

I tot I taw a puddy tat -- Tweetie

Answers

2008-05-13T07:52:00.000-07:00

Answers to few questions asked in comments.

Yes, that is I in the the pictures of my mother. I am a fat old man, but I was a skinny teen-ager. The skin and bones teen I see doesn't seem familiar. I am also the chubby shy two year old clinging to my mother's hem. My. I was cute. The gentleman with her is my father. He died accidentally before my first birthday. The dog is Zig, the family Pekinese. I wonder how he got the name Zig.

When I was stationed in UK in WWII, our units were based at Wells and Glastonbury in SW England. Only we didn't call it WWII then...just "The war". In Wells I saw the Oldest Cathedral in England and took a trip to Cheddar Caves, where the cheese is aged. In Glastonbury I saw the Glastonbury Abbey where King Arthur is supposedly buried, and I climbed the Tor behind the town to mount the ancient tower. In fact we were encamped in the Abbey park at the polo field. I wonder if it is still there.

On our troop ship, the Aquitania, formerly a luxury liner, the first queen of the Cunard line, the bunk beds were stacked five high. I chose the top bunk which I shared with my duffle bag stuffed with a gas mask and all the clothing we were issued. I was so close to the overhead (ceiling) that I was able to write on it. I wrote:

Charles Ferris,

Inducted March '43,

Going overseas March '44,

Expects to be wounded and return to U.S. in March '45.

That sounds like a grim self-fulfilling prophesy since it came true, exactly like that, March '45. But consider, that was the less grim outcome since most of us expected to be killed in combat. We were going overseas with a high expectation of never returning. That graffiti probably remained on the overhead until the Aquitania was scrapped in 1950.

Why don't I publish my essays about life in the old folks' home? Well, I do...right here on AOL in my journal. Dribble. They are all avaiable. You have only to click on the Archives link and it will take you back to any issue, starting in 2003. Happy reading.

Any more questions?

An Atheist on the Power of Prayer

2008-05-12T06:14:00.000-07:00

When I posted my entry, Bittersweet, in my journal, I received as many as eight comments before I could even sign off, and even more since. That was amazing to me and several responders said they were praying for me.

If you have read many of my entries you know I am a non-believer in anything supernatural.

AND YET, since I posted Bittersweet and many of you have said you were praying for me, I have not needed a pain pill. Not one Tylenol or aspirin.

Thank you sincerely. Your Faith has shaken my Non-faith.

RX - Laughter is the Best Medicine

2008-05-11T17:08:00.000-07:00

Sorry to so blatantly steal a line from Reader's Digest: Laughter is the Best Medicine.

This afternoon I was pain free. Why? Because my daughter, son-in-law, and grandson came to visit. We played two games of Scrabble. I won one. Great therapy. And, Lo and Behold, grandson beat his mother and me for the first time. Better therapy. The next generation takes over. During our family games we laugh a lot.

I forgot to hurt.

The Rime of the Ancient Mariner

2008-05-11T13:21:00.000-07:00

The Ancient Mariner, a character by Coleridge, used to catch people and make them listen to his story. Although they would beat their breasts and try to escape, he held them like a spell.

.He holds him with his skinny hand,
"There was a ship," quoth he.
"Hold off! unhand me, grey-beard loon!"
Eftsoons his hand dropt he.

He holds him with his glittering eye --
The Wedding-Guest stood still,
And listens like a three years child:
The Mariner hath his will.

The Wedding-Guest sat on a stone:
He cannot chuse but hear;
And thus spake on that ancient man,
The bright-eyed Mariner

We have several Ancient Mariners here who have stories to tell, and once they begin, it is difficult to escape without hearing their tales. And like the Ancient Mariner, their stories are fascinating to hear..

For instance there is Charles, an ex-pilot who built his own plane and flew it regularly to a cabin he had built near a lake in the Sierras. He tells his story with enthusiasm, and gestures explaining just how to make an aerial approach to the little lake shore airstrip. Alas, he also tells how many pilots died because they didn‘t make the right approach or take off. And once he begins it is difficult to excuse yourself from the rest of the tale, no matter how often you‘ve heard it.

There is Earl, who was a teamster for fifty years, and tells you who hired him to haul how much of what to where and what he was paid to do it, and, alas, how much they still owe him. He had a beautiful Harley motorcycle. As he holds you to tell you the tale, he points out each Harley motorcycle passing the old folks home and identifies its model number. He hauled the gravel to make I-5 from the gravel pits of Snelling to the road site on the west side of the San Joaquin Valley.

Unlike the Ancient Mariner, Charles, or Earl, Jim is difficult to get started about his tale. He was in England in WWII and as a quartermaster, was pressed into service to distribute to scattered Army units all the vehicles shipped from the US to England. He had to prioritize the army‘s needs and decide which outfits needed the jeeps and trucks and armored cars and get them distributed.

Grace was a Wave and was assigned to a top secret unit in Washington D.C. that was kept isolated from the rest of the Navy as they worked on breaking the Japanese Navy code. It was their breaking of the code that enabled the US Navy to discover the Japanese plan to attack Wake Island, and prepare the defense. That battle was the turning point of the war in the Pacific. Her unit received a special commendation from the War Department. That is a tale that is hard not to listen to…the first time.

We old folks are part of history. We old folks like to tell our histories. We capture our listeners when and where we can.

We are the Ancient Mariners. Coleridge could have been talking about us.

Mother's Day

2008-05-11T09:27:00.000-07:00

A few pictures of my mother on Mother's Day

Crossing the Atlantic

2008-05-11T07:57:00.000-07:00

I have crossed the Atlantic twice. Once by air...coming home for WWII and once on the way... in the Aquitania. (<-LINK) Worth a quick look.

Bittersweet

2008-05-11T07:20:00.000-07:00

This is a bittersweet time of life.

It is bitter because...

...my colon cancer has made my belly ache hard to take much too often, Little knife blades stick me in my tummy.

...my charming tablemate, whose company made meals a pleasant experience, is in the hospital in a coma. My cardplaying buddy, 87, with whom I played our silly kid's game of Rummy every single night, fell in the shower, broke his hip and is also in the hospital.

...my neurothesia has reached my hands and made typing hard to manage, Writing is my escape, my job, my hobby, and it is growing increasingly hard to do.

But it is a sweet time too because...

...I am surrounded by friends and family who understand and support me, comfort me, and do the things for me that I can no longer do. This old folks home is the place to be when you can no longer do for yourself.

...I still sleep well, albeit in four hour periods between visits to the bathroom, and escape the pain for eight hours a day.

...It is a time of remembrance and reflection of my life. It has been a full life. It has handed me the best and worst life has to offer. I have had delightful companions and raised wonderful children. I have swum in two oceans and walked on two continients. I have piloted my owh airplane, captained my own boat, driven cars, trucks, tanks, and motocyles. I have never been without food or shelter. But I have been blown up, crippled, divorced, hospitalized, arrested and jailed. I have been a hero and a pariah. I have had the best and worst of life.

This is a bittersweet time. Life is (was) worth living.

Tags: Swan song

Weekend Blahs

2008-05-10T09:18:00.000-07:00

You've heard of the Monday Blues. Well, that comes up in a couple of days. What we have now at the old folks home is the weekend blahs.

The Activity Director is off for the weekend. So is the regular staff. Even Bingo is called by a substiture.

What we need is a lttle imagination to perk up the weekend. Any suggestions? My own suggestions would only get us in trouble.

P.S. Suggestions so far...Stinkbomb in activiity room REJECTED and quiz game, or raffle of unusual itrems, or picnic. ALL GREAT IDEAS

Thanks folks

Hot and Cold

2008-05-09T06:36:00.000-07:00

I sure run hot and cold in my journal keeping. I posted entries in Dribble for six days straight, and then nothing for four.

I have a belly-ache that stays with me for hours, and my Chevy Astro van had a battery-ache that needed attention. Poor old Chevy sat so long unattended that the battery went dead, completely. Also it became so dirty that it looked like a lump of clay. By coincidence a guy with a portable car wash came along do someone else's car and I snagged him. He washed the car in place since we couldn't move it. It looked magnificent. He spent two hours cleaning it up.

And a friend of a friend is mechanical enough to remove the battery, recharge it, replace it, and start the car. His only problem was that the car had sat in one spot so long that a Black Widow spider had built a nest in the engine compartment. Getting rid of the spider took time too. You don't mess with those ladies. The mechanical friend hates spiders.

That is enough whining, Angie will get turned off.

Tags: Payton's water, Black Widow spider, Astro Van, bellyache

Food Shortage

2008-05-06T06:36:00.000-07:00

PEOPLE SAY there is going to be a food shortage. They also say prices are going to go sky-high. However, my latest trip to the market found things that I buy are the same price as usual -- or less. I hope that continues.

My General Foods International Orange Cappuccino,, my self-indulgent treat to myself, stays the same ghastly $4.85 for a 10 ounce can. What that comes to per cup I have no idea, nor do I dare figure it out, for fear that I would give it up if I knew. My store brand raisin bran muffins were the same $4.29 for four. I eat one per day, so I can afford that.

But three things were cheaper. Limes have been 25 cents each for a long time are now 10 cents each. That is a remarkable drop percentage-wise. The 10 cent limes are hard little green lumps with no taste, but maybe a spell in a paper bag will soften them up some.

Avocados had been $2.00 each. Well, $1.99 actually...nothing is priced in even dollars.. And the crop was sitting on the shelf so long they were getting gooshy, The new crop is less,, $1.67, and they are firm and fresh.

Store brand mayonnaise on sale is $2.09 per quart, compared to $4.85 for Best Foods Brand.

Mind you, I live in an old folks' home and they feed us, I don't need any of this stuff. But shopping is something to do, so I indulge myself, and call it my "entertainment allowance".

If food prices do sky-rocket in the near future, I will have to change my hobby to bird watching or 99 cent store cruising.

Tags: food shsortage

Turnabout is Fair Play

2008-05-05T04:39:00.000-07:00

Mrs E and Mrs L are constant companions, but none of us other residents can understand why. It seems to us that Mrs L would eventually kill Mrs E.

Mrs E constantly berates, nags, and scolds Mrs L. Mrs L, through stroke or advanced age has lost most of her expressive speech and is somewhat confused. But Mrs L seeks Mrs. E’s company. She’ll walk into Mrs E’s room.

Mrs E: Good Lord, you scared the pee out of me. What do you want? Why do you walk in like that? Do you think I want to be scared? If I wanted to be scared I would look for a roller coaster. What do you want?

Mrs. L: Come on.

Mrs E: Come on where? Where do you want to go? Why don’t you say where we are going? Tell me.

Mrs. L: Down there.

Mrs E: Down where. Speak. Tell me where down there is. Am I supposed to guess? Jabber, jabber. All you do is jabber. I don’t know what you are saying.

…and it goes on like this for hours. It is a strange symbiotic relationship. Mrs E needs to scold, and Mrs L needs to be scolded.

Mrs L comes to breakfast but Mrs E likes to sleep in and have her morning coffee in her room.

Mrs E sent Mrs L to fetch her coffee this morning.

Mrs E: Go get me a cup of coffee.

Mrs L was going down the hall with a cup in her hand and Mrs E was standing in her doorway waiting. Halfway down the hall Mrs L stopped, holding the cup, looking confused. Mrs. E waited a moment, then grew impatient and stormed down the hall in her nightgown to where the bewildered Mrs L was standing.

Mrs E: Where’s my coffee? This is empty. I asked for a cup of coffee and you brought me a coffee cup.

Tags: Life in the old folks' home

Rare Whine

2008-05-04T14:50:00.000-07:00

If I whine rarely it is times like this when a whine is in order. I've done it again: spent an hour carefully typing an entry with quotes and tabs and fussy spellings. And then erased it all with a careless keystroke.

I am swearing too, as well as whining.

My Dog Spot

2008-05-04T10:07:00.000-07:00

I am amused by things that are named for something they are NOT. A television salesman used to include his dog in his commercials. His dog was named Spot. Of course, Spot was a German Shepard and didn’t have spot on him. He was called Spot because he was spotless.

Even more amusing are the people who don’t “get it”. They look at the dog and say incredulously, “He hasn’t got any spot.” Right. It’s a joke. See?

My parents lived on a rural road which was often used by thoughtless people who wanted to get rid of their pets. They would drive along, see my parents’ place and say, “Here. These people look like they will take care of you. OUT.” And they would dump their pets on the roadside, leaving them to find someone who would care for them. And my parents did. They had several pets who arrived that way.

A pair of unwanted kittens who grew to cat-hood being loved by my parents were named This-one and That-one.. Worked well enough but I don’t remember if they knew their own names.

Later another orphan arrived and my mother looked in the encyclopedia to see what breed she was. It said, “Common Domestic Shorthair“. So that kitten became Common. That worked too because it was fun to say, “Come on, Common.”. That’s pronounced “Common Common”.

A Collie named Gale, not Gail, arrived the same way. They also had a Boxer named Bouncer. Another waif was Ittybit. Ittybit is baby talk for Little Bit, and Ittybit was tiny when she landed on the roadside near Parent’s gate.

My daughter and her husband got a Pit Bull puppy as the family pet. Knowing that Pit Bulls have a bad reputation they wanted the most benign name they could think of. The considered Blossom but settled on Possum. For a couple of years Possum lived up to her name and was the calmest cutest pet one could want. Then she started growling at the children in the family. Possum came to me. Possum and I got along well together, and I always felt safe in the car when she was along. It was like having a loaded gun on the seat beside you. When strangers approached the car, Possum’s growl would warn them not to touch the car or me.

Having a Pit Bull is like having a loaded gun. It is protection but it is an awful responsibility You don’t know what might set it off. Possum with the benign name eventually had to be put to sleep because she became vicious. A vicious dog with a sweet name is a joke, but not one to laugh at.

Naming things for something they are not is fun. If I had a Mexican Hairless I would call him “Harry”. (Hairy-- get it?) And one fond memory is of the lady who had the tiniest Chihuahua in the world with a squeaky little bark. His name?

Killer.

Here's a Thoght

2008-05-03T07:11:00.000-07:00

May 3, 2008

EXPECT

SOMETHNG

GREAT

TODAY

Expecting good helps make it happen

Proud as a Peacock

2008-05-02T15:01:00.000-07:00

Pardon me while I spread my tail feathers and strut. Angie, Guest Editor of Magic Smoke (<- LINK) this week paid me a wonderful compliment.

She said I was funny, to the point, and an inspiration. Whew, that is a load to carry and a lot to live up to. She said she found no whining here. I guess she hasn't read my back issues... I whine plenty about my health, my age, and especially about my printer. And that doesn't even take into account my reports about AOL.

You can find a link to Angie's Journal there in Magic Smoke and links to her other recommendations.

Thanks, Angie. I think you're pretty neat yourself.

Tags: Magic Smoke

Latest Sign on My Door

2008-05-01T19:00:00.000-07:00

The latest sign on my door is handwritten and says...

I WILL HAVE

TO WRITE THESE

SILLY SIGNS

BY HAND

UNTIL MY

PRINTER IS FIXED

Yes, It was Lovely

2008-05-01T13:51:00.000-07:00

My mother wanted to live, to go places, to see things. Her husband, my step-father, had been places, seen things, had lived through WWII on a tanker in the South Pacific, seen neighboring ships torpedoed. He wanted to stay home.

Mother wanted to go to Hawaii, but not alone. So she took my daughter, her sixteen-year-old grand daughter, with her to tour Hawaii.

They met people, and saw things, lots of things. But no matter what they saw, there was always someone who had seen something else, that they liked better.

A conversation might go like this:

MOTHER AND GRAND DAUGHTER: We saw the Grand Canyon of the Pacific.

OTHER TOURIST: But did you see the soaring Nene birds which never land?

MOTHER AND GRAND DAUGHTER: Well, no..but..

OTHER TOURIST: Oh, too bad, you have seen those.

MOTHER AND GRAND DAUGHTER: We saw the spouting blow hole shoot water fifty feet into the air.

OTHER TOURIST: Um-hmm, Did you see the Minihuni Trail? Wasn't that wonderful?

MOTHER AND GRAND DAUGHTER: Well, no, I guess we missed that.

OTHER TOURIST; Oh, what a shame. It was lovely.

Mother and my daughter soon learned what to say when asked if they had seen this or that sight, tasted this or that food at a luau, or sipped this ot that drink on the lanai. They learned to answer all such questions with, "Yes. It was lovely." With that response they were spared the details of something they had missed. They had a wonderful time, and they saw, tasted, sipped plenty. They didn't feel they had missed anything.

Today the old folks were invited to go on the bus to a fabulous restaurant in town, one that all the local folk used to gather at. It was a famed gathering spot, and "be sure to taste the cole slaw. They are famous for their cole slaw." I went, and I was pretty hyped up about this local legend.

We arrived. The entrance was through the parking lot in the rear. To this out of towner it looked pretty ordinary. It looked to me like any non-chain burger joint. It had a ranch theme and had some pictures of horses around the walls, and had a "saddle room" adjoining, whatever that is. The menu looked good, but...

"Do you have ribs," I asked. No, they didn't. One sandwich sounded good -- Our Special Ranch Sandwich, with sauteed onions. I ordered the special.

"How do you want it cooked?"

"Huh?"

"It is a burger. How do you want it cooked?" The so-called special was a hamburger.

"Do you want fries or cole slaw with that?"

"Cole slaw," I ordered immediately. I wanted to try their famous cole slow.

After a while the hamburger came. It was served with a huge pile of cole slow. Happily I dug into the cole slaw. It was quite ordinary. Nothing special about it. One bite was plenty. The hamburger was okay, but t was just a hamburger. I pushed the sauteed onions out of the way and ate the burger patty with A1 sauce. At least they had genuine A1 sauce on the table. I rate the burger the same as the McDonalds and Carls Jr burgers I reported on in earlier entries here. Four golden pickles out of five.

The activity Director of the old folks home came bay and asked, "Did you try the cole slaw?"

"Yes, It was lovely."

"Did you have a sandwich?"

"Yes, It was lovely"

Hoist on my Own Petard

2008-04-29T09:19:00.000-07:00

My toolbar has been erased AGAIN. For the umpteenth time.

David will again tell me that other servers are available. Isn't AOL listening? Didn't they notice when scads of bloggers left them when they started putting ads on our journals...in space they were charging us for?

No. They know that I am too lazy to learn a new protocol, and too fond of simply clicking this and that and having my journal appear, ready for new entries or editing. I have been hoist on my own petard. (You can look that up.)

I tried to email AOL about this but this is what came back

AOL - This is not a known member.

AOL doen't know who AOL is? Incredible.

Tags: AOL, AOL shortcomings, AOL deaf ear, AOL asleep at the switch

Home Again - All in the Same Day

2008-04-27T14:01:00.000-07:00

Another one of the problems with being a senior citizen is that you never know where things are. You know you have one, but now that you need it, it is nowhere to be found.

I know I have a perfectly good camera tripod. It stands tall and strong and has a tilt top, and I have no idea where I left it. I am so sure that I cannot find it that I had to go and get ANOTHER.

The best thing about this old folks home where I live is its location. Every thing you could need is within two blocks. I can take my five mile per hour scooter to the Mall or Market, shop, and be back within thirty minutes.

I scootered first to the drug store. No tripods. Then through the Mall looking for the camera store. Gone. Shoe stores, book stores, and camera stores are gone from the Mall. Wal*Mart, Target, and Cost-co have forced the camera stores, shoe stores out of business, and a huge Barnes and Noble nearby brought the demise of the independent book sellers.

Sears remains, hanging on somehow. The huge store is still there filled with tons of merchandise of all sorts, while a few customers wander around the piles of goods, looking for the lone salesperson or two. How can they stay in business like that? Anyhow I found the camera department and s high school senior who was clerking found me.

I had my choice of two tripods, either one costing $19. One was a light weight fold up pod in a plastic bubble package, and the other was a huge, boxed, mammoth sturdy camera platform capable of holding one of Ansel Adams enormous glass plate view cameras...on sale. The big one was a tremendous bargain. CBS could have used it to hold a studio Iconoscope. Since I had no need for the great one, I bought the lesser, passing on the bargain of the day.

I scooted home and got back, as I say, within half an hour. Incredible.

Now, if you will excuse me, I know I am going to have to do battle with getting the tripod out of the miserable bubble plastic packaging.

Tags: bubble package, retail store misery, shopping adventure

Partners - A Quiz

2008-04-27T09:37:00.000-07:00

Can you remember the other half of these familiar partnerships? Left click your mouse and run the icon over the answer to reveal it.

Laurel and Hardy

Abbott and Costello

Chip and Dale

Tweety and Sylvester

Clark Gable and Carole Lombard

Spencer Tracy and Katherine Hepburn

Harpo, Chico, and Groucho

Hart, Shaffner, and Marx

Manny, Moe, and Jack

Larry, Moe, and Curly Joe

Dean Martin and Jerry Lewis

Lockheed and Martin

Bill and Hillary

Bill and Coo

Amos and Andy

Lum and Abner

George Burns and Gracie Allen

Jack Benny and Mary Livingston

Fred Astaire and Ginger Rogers

Veloz and Yolanda

Sonny and Cher

Howard Hughes and (well nobody..he was a loner)

Damon and Pythias

Jack and Jill

Tinker, Evers, and Chance

McDonnell and Douglas

Fibber McGee and Molly

Simon and Garfunkel

Simon and Schuster (from mseca)

From Helen

Goodnight Chet amd goodnight ?? Helen forgot to give me the answer... I think it was David.

Hansel and Gretel

Snow White and the seven dwarfs

Roy Rogers and Dale Evans

The Lone Ranger and Tonto

From Kate

REN & ??..Come on folks, send the answers tooStimpy

BARTLES AND James

From Karen

John Lennon and...Yoko Ono

John Lennon and The Beatles

(two good answers there)
Rowan and...Martin
Benson and Hedges (cigarettes)
Lewis and...Clark (not Sacajawea)
Lois and Clark (Superman)

Please add partners you remember to the comments. I’ll add them to the quiz. Then come back and play again as the quiz will grow.

Tags: Quiz - partners

Apologies to Grant Wood

2008-04-26T11:41:00.000-07:00

Friend Dave Burke took a couple of my silly cartoons and applied them to American Gothic. Sorry, Grant Wood.

Tags: Destroying American culture

Your Morning Astronomy and Geology Lesson

2008-04-26T07:19:00.000-07:00

At 5:30 AM I went outside in my wheel chair to check on the moon. Yes, I keep tabs on the moon, just to see if it is still there. It usually is.

I searched the sky to the east where I expected to see it My view was blocked by big trees so I wheeled eastward, I had to travel half way around the old folks home to get a clear look east. No moon. Curious.

Then I looked due south. There, of course, was the last-quarter moon in clear view. i am glad to report it was in its correct position and shining brightly.

But here is more to contemplate. Take a student sized world map on a globe, about the size of a soccer ball, and measure twenty miles. Twenty miles on that scale is little more than a wide pencil mark; Now tip that narrow strip up from the surface of the globe. That is the depth of the Earth's atmosphere. That thin layer around the globe is all the air we have.

Now what do you think of global warming? Our big Earth is covered by a thin layer of air. Yes, we can change the world temperature. I used to view the world's air supply from down here where I live, beneath it. It seemed endless and far too big to be affected by anything we do. But considered from space, it is just a very thin layer around the globe.

And that's not all. Take a two ounce jigger shot glass and place it on top of the globe,. If our Earth were the size of that common student's globe, all the water in all the lakes, rivers, and oceans would not fill that glass. Makes you realize why we no longer dump our waste into rivers or the ocean. Wouldn't take much waste to pollute that jigger glass of water.

Mother Earth feeds and shelters us, but she is not indestructible.

(End of today's sermon.)

Food Review - McDonald's Third Pounder

2008-04-25T20:49:00.000-07:00

A new hamburger advertised? Well you know I will try it. So I did.

Scooted to local McDonalds and ordered their new advertised Third Pounder which, so far, is available in Californa only. And...

...not bad. In fact, the best McDonald's burger I have eaten. I got the mushroom version, not the bacon type. I had planned to share it, but it was tasty, and I ate it all myself. Meat patty was plump and larger than the quarter pounder. I could actually taste the mushrooms and the pickle.

How did it compare with the Carl's Jr chili cheeseburger I tasted last week? It was as good or better, and far less messy. Both cost between four and five dollars and both give "fast food" a better reputation than their lowest cost cousins.

As a food critic I haven't decided to give my selections stars or bells or Oscars. I will give the Third Pounder four out of five possible golden pickles.

Nothing New

2008-04-25T16:52:00.000-07:00

There is nothing new in Photostream, but I don't mind touting it again. Love to have you visit it again.

Pardon Me While I Get Organizxed

2008-04-25T11:26:00.000-07:00

New sign on my apartment door: PARDON ME WHILE i GET ORGANIZED.\\

Casino night at the old folks home was fun... HOWEVER

The Craps dealer did NOT know the rules, and picked up my money after I made a perfectly safe throw. It was PLAY money, so I did not object. I just moved on to a different game.

The blackjack dealer scooped up my winnings with my used cards. I think he did it by accident...because it was, after all, PL:AY money.

After a few hands of poker, someone noticed that there were two ace of hearts in the deck... and no ace of spades. We counted the cards.and found there were 59 cards in the deck with lots of duplicates and lots of missing cards. We had played the whole evening with a defective deck. But no one seemed to mind... we were only spending PLAY money.

When the PLAY money was counted I found I had won two State Lottery tickets. When they were "scratched off" I found I had won a REAL lottery ticket. Isn't that weird? The prize for some sate lottery tickets, is, ..a free ticket. Does that make sense?

Gambling at the old folks home casino is like no other. But the object was to have fun.... and we did.

Superannuated

2008-04-24T09:37:00.000-07:00

If you don't mind, I'll just sit here and type in my birthday suit. It doesn't matter' there's no web cam on this computer. Why am I as bare as David carved in stone? Because I am superannuated. At least that is what my old tablemate, Dr. Mickle, used to call our advanced age.

I shouldn't complain. Most of the people who were born the same day that I was, are already dead. I am one of the survivors, glad to say But my age was showing this morning.

When I got dressed this morning, because I am going to see the doctor this afternoon, I put on a nice new shirt and pants. Then I went to breakfast. At breakfast I spilled a blob of oatmeal on my clean shirt. I tried to wipe if off, and smeared it more, and then in cleaning the smear, I slathered oatmeal all over my front.

Back in my room I was fuming because I had to find another fresh shirt. In fact, I was so agitated that I wet my pants. Yikes. Now I have to change everything.

So I will stay bare as long as I can. Less chance of having to change clothes again.

On a positive note. Tonight we have "casino night". I have been appointed to find out how to conduct the craps and roulette tables. Roulette I understand. The bettor places his bet on the table on the number or color he chooses, the dealer spins the wheel and the ball falls into a numbered slot. The dealer pays off according to the odds that are printed on the table.

Craps, on the other hand, I do not know, so I have to look it up online. The ctaps table is marked with the odds also. A bet is placed on every roll of the dice, I am sure but whether the pay-off comes after each roll, or after the shooter rolls seven I am not sure. I have no doubt that I can find the rules before tonight. I make a very poor pit boss.

Casino night at the old folks' home. Can't you just feel the excitement?

American Idol

2008-04-23T21:25:00.000-07:00

I make it a point NOT to watch American Idol, I have two reasons. (1) I don't like the melody-less tunes they choose to sing, and (2) they are trying to create an idol. Idols earn their idol-ness by years of entertaining, like, say, Bob Hope or Bing Crosby, not six weeks on one network show.

But Idol was on while I was doing something else and it caught my attention, AND they were good. I just thought I ought to give credit to the young artists since I didn't give them their due before.

BINGO

2008-04-23T16:23:00.000-07:00

BINGO is a national pastime for old folks. For some dumb reason, this silly game is played in old folks' homes everywhere. Old folks who do not live in institutions gather in lodge halls, carnival tents, high school auditoriums to play Bingo.

Some play to pass the time, some play for money, some play for bits of candy, stuffed animals, potted plants, but all play for the chance to shout "Bingo". There is something thrilling about being the first to shout that magical term.

Now Bingo is a pure mathematical game. The balls are chosen at random, so there is no way to gain an edge. There are no such things as "lucky cards", "lucky chairs", or "lucky days-of-the-week". Wearing a certain color, facing in a certain direction, or chewing a certain flavor of gum will not influence which balls will fall, or what numbers will be called.

The only thing that will influence your chance of winning is the number of cards being played. If everyone plays the same number of cards, everyone has an equal chance.

Absolutely.

However...

With old folks, there is no end to the squabbling over who sits where, who plays which cards, I don't doubt but that in this wide world there have been murders committed over some Bingo game. And I further believe that the game may have been being played for dimes or pennies or Hershey kisses. It is not the prize that is important. It is the chance to be the first to yell....

...."BINGO"

Doodling in the Paint Bucket

2008-04-23T15:09:00.000-07:00

I doodle in the Paint program a lot. I thought I might share three random samples from the files.

1. We were asked to create screen names for fictional characters. After I made up some silly names, I doodled some silly faces to go with them.

2. I like experimenting with colors. This was one color pallet I made. It is bright and cheerful.

3. After doodled a cartoon of myself on my scooter, I decided to make a whole parade of me.

Toolbar Erased AGAIN

2008-04-22T22:29:00.000-07:00

AOL knows about it Why can't they fix it? My toolbar has been erased...AGAIN.

It's All in the Mind

2008-04-22T11:51:00.000-07:00

AOL tricked me. The said they were showing "Racy" pcitures of Stephanie Rice, Olympic swimmer.

The were pictures of Stephanie racing...not racy pictures. It is my own fault I got fooled. It was all in my mind. LINK

A Note Lifted from my Sidebar

2008-04-21T04:08:00.000-07:00

In the time it takes to read this, the Universe will grow even larger and thousands of stars will have been created. What is important to us on this tiny speck we call Earth is still a mystery.

Mid-morning Quizzle

2008-04-21T03:37:00.000-07:00

I awoke a while ago thinking it was five am, but it was only two-thirty. I had slept a mere three hours. There is a full moon tonight, and I really want to go out into the south courtyard and bask briefly in the moonlight, but the powers-that-be would think I am nuts So I refrain.

Besides, it is cold.

Friend Wilma has suggested I "Go for it", but she doesn't care if I get into trouble. "What can they do to you", she asks, but her empahsis is on the you. That you, to her, is me, to me. I don't care to find out.

So I drink some weak capuchino and ponder. It is weak because I do want to get back to sleep and finish the night with some rest.

Also I ponder my sentence in the entry below. Placing these anagrams took marvelous logo. Is it really a sentence? The verb is took, but what is the subject? The noun phrase placing these anagrams is propertly a subject, but the whole thing sounds awkward and stilted. I really need an extra word or two so I could say Placing these anagrams won me this marvelous logo, but that is outside the parameters of the rules: use only the six letters given.

That's enough pondering It s time for some pillow pounding. I'll look for your comments in the morning.

This Week's Entry - The Sentence Game

2008-04-20T21:34:00.000-07:00

Here is my response to winning last week's sentence game, AND my entry for this week...all rolled into one. Sentence Game Link.

Is it really a sentence? The verb is took, but what is the subject? The noun phrase placing these anagrams is properly a subject, but the whole thing sounds awkward and stilted. I really need an extra word or two so I could say Placing these anagrams won me this marvelous logo, but that is outside the parameters of the rules: use only the six letters given.

Don't Believe Everything You Hear on TV

2008-04-19T21:47:00.000-07:00

I am guessing you already knew that. Don't believe everything you hear on TV. But here are three more examples anyway.

1. Carls" Jr. commercial shows a young fellow eating a huge hamburger that is so enormous and sloppy that the chili is dribbling out the back. A commentator says, "And even if you don't want the fries...you get 'em anyway."

I scootered to Carls" Jr and asked for that "Hamburger that you get fries with whether you want them or not.... ah, to go." I got the chili cheese burger and paid $3.45 and scooted home. I scooted on out to the courtyard, I didn't want chili on my carpet. I opened the bag.

There were NO fries.

It was my own fault. I didn't look in the bag when it was handed to me. In fact, I should have known. Patron in front of me was complaining that there were no fries in his bag. You'd think that would have warned me. The clerks were high school age kids, and they were very off handed and indifferent to the patrons.

There were six paper napkins in the bag though, and that was lucky, because the chili did actually leak out the back of the burger as in the advertisement. The burger was not bad, but it was nothing like the commercial. Don't believe everything you see on television.

2. Staples stationary store advertises "one dollar off for each empty printer ink cartridge you bring in." I gathered my ten or so empty cartridges and went to Staples. I bought four more cartridges of ink for my insatiable printer.

"Sorry," said the clerk, "we can only take three empties a day per customer."

I stammered and tried to think of an argument and wondered if calling the manager would have helped. I was buying four, but could only return three empties. If this policy is firm and my printer consumes ink at the rate it has been, I will soon be up to my butt in empties.

Nothing was said in the advertising on television about a limit per day. Don't believe everything you see on television.

3. Don't believe everything you see on television. Anybody can make a commercial and say anything they want. For example, there is an experimental promo for Dribble on television. My friend David Burke made a promo for Dribble, using only our basic stuff, keyboard, laptop, and handheld camera. Frankly, it is only a trial run, but you may be amused to see our first run. It is on YouTube. A click on the following link ought to get it for you. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qjgIcFPsiq8

Big, Little, Good, Bad Day

2008-04-19T14:26:00.000-07:00

Saturday has been interesting. It was a Big, Little, Good, Bad Day

I like to show cars in our parking lot from time to time. This one was a shocker. It was parked in our lot with a sign saying For Sale, $20,000. So here is a big bargain for you...if you need a limo. I wonder if they have put it on Ebay?

BIG

While I was rummaging through the pockets of my power chair, I found a harmonica that I had thought I had lost. It is the smallest one in my collection. It is a fraction of an inch long, but I can actually play tunes on the little four-hole mini. It is called an Oskamonica. Lee Oskar is a well known harmonica maker. This must be his smallest. I put a full sized harmonica in the picture too, as well as a police whistle, a dime and quarter, for size comparison

LITTLE

Valerie Fisher wrote to tell me that I had been co-winner of this week's sentence writing contest. (<-link) My sentence, made up of words starting with the letters D C N S T R is below.

Deftly create new sentences to read

GOOD

Alas, my power chair stranded me in hall the other day. I had to get a push home from a care giver. It was a bitr humiliating. I had to sit in the hall until help happened along. Then I had to phone SCOOTERMAN to come all the way from Fresno, CA, to restore it. Diagnosis: new batteries needed. Here s the chair, in disassembled state awaiting batteries. What's so bad about that? The cost... yikes., with the service call...nearly three hundred dollars.

BAD

Down the Drain, Out the Window

2008-04-16T07:05:00.000-07:00

Ninety-nine cents. Down the drain or out the window, whatever you call wasted money. Now, I can afford to waste 99 cents, but to throw out a whole can of sardines...that hurts.

How does merchandise come to be sold in the 99 Cent Store, anyway. Because they buy odd lots, and non-standard stuff that the chain stores will not handle. They get a discount and can sell goods such as $2.25 sardines for less than a dollar. And we can buy and enjoy them,.

HOWEVER, I wanted a snack last night, and I took one of my bargain cans of sardines and found it was a non-standard can with NO opener attached. Nor would the can fit a standard can opener. I punctured the can, but could not remove the top. I pried with a knife, a dangerous practice, and I even got a screwdriver to wedge under the lid. The olive oil leaked out, bringing the scent of sardines, but no fish. Ah, the essence of fish...not everyone loves it as I do. If I could have snacked on aroma I would have been satisfied, but I wanted to taste the little sprats on my crackers. No luck.

I put the leaking can in a Zip-lock bag and put it in the trash. I ate my crackers bare.

Today I will buy a universal can opener that will open non-standard cans. It may cost me $15.00 or more, but that's the price you have to pay to enjoy 99 cent sardines.

Tags: Non-bargains in the Bargain Basement

Beautiful Exception

2008-04-14T10:56:00.000-07:00

Although something MAY be amiss in the rest of our rose garden, there is certainly nothing wrong with Jude, the yellow rose that stands just outside my patio door. I counted fourteen large, beautiful blooms on the one bush.

Jude

I am still not certain of the variety rose that Jude is. I will be searching the Internet to see if I can find out.

P/S. Jude looks like THIS. (<=LINK)

Less Lush

2008-04-13T14:09:00.000-07:00

Something seems amiss in the rose garden this season. The blossoms seem less lush than last year. They begin to wither as soon as they bloom. Even our friend, Twiggy, who has the most blossoms of the red roses, and who has the earliest and most blooms, lacks the color and splendor of last year.

Twiggy

Maybe the gardeners did not "feed" the roses over the winter. Maybe there are fewer bees to pollinate them. I should have kept my promise to sprinkle plant food on Twiggy over the winter.

The yellow roses came out early this year. This is the most lush of all the roses, and it, too, lacks the wonder of last year. Our friend, Jude, is the same variety as this yellow bush. I am told that this variety is "Kennedy", but I don't know enough about roses to confirm it.

Kennedy (?)

Crashing Bores

2008-04-12T23:15:00.000-07:00

Movie/Book Review: Crashing bores.

Lord of the Rings Any edition, any sequel.

Harry Potter Any edition, any sequel

Watership Down. Rabbits can't talk.

The Clan of the Cave Bear or any Jane Auel prehistoric novel. One Neanderthal says to another, "Pardon me, I haven't been introduced to your wife." No kidding, it's in one of the books.

The Sound of Music. The real escape of the Trapp family must have been thrilling, but the musical version...they escape by singing their way out? Come on.

One Hundred Years of Solitude. An Oprah Book Club selection which features one character who can rise up and float in the air...but the book is NOT a fantasy.

Tags: book reviews

Tagged

2008-04-12T00:09:00.000-07:00

J was tagged by Special Lady Fink and asked to tell several things about myself. It is a game whose serious purpose to promote blogging and get more people to read more blogs. Okay, so, even though I do not know Special Lady, I will play along...sort of. I answer the questions...but I tag no other person. I am a sem-good-sport.

What were you doing ten years ago? About the same as am, except I drove my van and went exploring the back roads of Missouri. It is a historical area, and I enjoyed finding historic sites and studying the situations of past years...especially Civil War years.

Jobs you have held. School teacher, speech therapist, hardware store salesperson, public housing placement interviewer, zoo gatekeeper, bakery warehouseman, snack bar operator, auto parts store salesman, bookeeper for chemical fertilizer plant, encyclopaedia salesman, telegraph boy, phonebook distributer.

Snack you like. Sardines, and canned sea food in general. General foods capuchino, crackers, both graham and soda, artichoke hearts, and AVOCADOS. Especially Avocados.

Places you've lived. By the Pacific Ocean in a Marina with a deck and dock and three boata...sailboat, power cruiser, rowboat with motor. Also in Missouri with historic sites to explore, Los Angeles suburb, Central Valley of California with all its fruits,nuts, vegetables. Also on the UCLA campus, and in Beverly Hillis (Before it was 91240), Fort Knox Kentucy, near the national gold depository.

What would you do if you were a Billionaire. About what I do now except I 'd hire a jillion people to help me do it...drive, fly, tour the 99 cent store. Imagine what you could do with a billion dollars in the 99 cent store...(buy ten billion cans of sardines, perhaps.)

I forget the other things I was supposed to tag about, except I was supposed to tell some of my bad habits. Yeah, sure, I am gonna talk about those? Silly.

That's all. Not tagging anyone else though.

Films I Never Finished

2008-04-10T10:25:00.000-07:00

MOVIE REVIEW' Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

I am not a critical movie viewer. In my long life of watching movies I remember walking out of only one because I was bored to the point where I no longer cared what happens to the protagonist.

I have quit many books for that reason One being One Hundred Years of Solitude. I just didn't give a tinker what happened to the main character, so I quit. But I didn't quit the movie for that reason.

I am as inept with the TV remote as I am with the computer mouse or the cell phone or the digital camera. I was watching the pay movie Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium. About half way into the movie I put it on PAUSE to answer a call of nature. But I must have pushed the wrong button. When I tried to restart...I could not access the movie again.

I used the on screen menu and restarted the movie, thus incurring another $5.00 fee. But I couldn't fast forward to the spot where I left off..remember I am inept with the controls. So I abandoned the movie and watched Law and Order or some such TV offering.

I thought about calling the Comcast company and getting the extra five dollars removed from my bill, and having them re-start Mr. Megorium for me, but then I considered the story.

First" It is a story within a story within a story. A commentator is telling about Eric, a character, who is telling a story about Mr. Megorium. That is a bit much to follow.

Then the story about Mr. Megorium takes a weird turn. He goes to the hospital and we get a glimpse of Megorium as a "real" person who merely has delusions about the magic of his store, and his miraculous age, 243. So, if the magic store is a delusion, that makes it a delusion within a story within a story within a story. Follow that? Nor I.

So if the store is not "real", then the "magic" is not magic, and there is no point to the fantasy at all. Do I make myself clear? Not to myself either.

I would be better off watching a Law and Order rerun. They, at least, admit that their stories are "not based on any real cases, past or present".

I guess I will abandon Mr. Megorium and deal with the $5.00 over-charge when the bill comes. I think I should only owe $2.50 anyway, for half a movie.

Tags: Mr. Magorium's Wonder Emporium

More Printer Woes

2008-04-09T16:44:00.000-07:00

Are you tired of hearing about my troubles with my printer yet? If not, why not?

I fixed one problem by accident, and created another by accident. Result...it is NOT WORKING....again.

I printed one copy of a document...largely pictures. It quit in the middle of the second copy... for no reason that I could see. I tried again and again, only to have it quit in the same place. I spent hours on the problem with the trouble shooter program. I gave up.

I took another photo, added it to the document and tried again. Once again it printed one copy and stopped in the middle of copy number two. I was giving up again and unplugged the camera from the computer, and BEHOLD ... the printer started and printed a whole second copy.

I opened the document again and set the printer to print five copies. No dice. It would only print one. One at a time, that is. Print one whole copy, and then reset the counter to ONE. I fiddled around until I had UNINSTALLED the printer, by accident. Since I didn't install it in the first place and I have no idea where the original disk is, I was stymied.

I went to HP (Hewlett-Packard) online and downloaded a new driver for the printer. Then I tried to follow the directions. Did it work then?

Well, no.

So now I have an inoperative printer, with no driver, no start up disk, and no way to make it work.

Stay tuned.

Tags: Printer woes

Phishing

2008-04-09T15:38:00.000-07:00

I got an email that looked like it was from AOL...with the logo and everything, asking for a credit card update.

It asked for credit card number, mothers maiden name, and full social security number. It also asked for PIN number and my password.

I tried to send without PIN and SSN and mothers maiden name, but it wouldn't take it with blanks. I ALMOST filled it out. Then decided to call phone number instead. I got somebody who said she was aol... and I think it was. She updated my credit card info WITHOUT PIN and SSN.

I think she was legitimate, but the email must have been "phishing", looking for data to steal my identity.

Anyway, I hope I have escaped the "phishers". I sent their email to REPORT SPAM.

Keep an eye out for these guys. They almost GOT ME. I think I escaped this time.

Tags: phishing

World's Oldest Newspaper Columnist

2008-04-08T11:18:00.000-07:00

Just had a visit from Frank Pelatowski who is called "The World's Oldest Newspaper Columnist". Frank is one hundred years old. His column is in the Mariposa Gazette a Mariposa, CA, weekly paper.

His first column is about his days in the navy, which he joined in 1923. That is eighty-five, count 'em, eighty-five years ago. He learned to sleep in a hammock.

He has a web site, www.pelatowski.com, and you can get a link to hear an interview with Frank on radio.

On his visit here, he was accompanied by David Burke, a senior activist, who resides in the same old folks' home as Frank. The conversation was delightful, and the coffee and cookie were free.

Tags: World's oldest newspaper columnist

Nine POINT One

2008-04-08T10:59:00.000-07:00

AOL introduced their newest system, AOL 9.1, not long ago. What a pain..

Nine point One lets you see the welcome screen, with news items, weather, and whether you have mail or not, without signing on. Fine. But you cannot read your mail, nor seek weather in other places, nor search for news items without being signed on. So what is the big deal?

Furthermore, under 9.1 my tool bar vanishes from time to time and I must spend time and effort to rebuild it. Under 9.1 I very frequently get a "NOT RESPONDING" icon, and the controls go dead. I have to quit the program and reopen it to finish what I was doing. Under 9.1 I sometimes get locked out of my journal, unable to make entries, nor even make comments in the journals of others.

Save me from "improvements" like these.

Tags: AOL 9.1

Latest Slogans from my Apartment Door

2008-04-08T09:18:00.000-07:00

Isn't there anything on television except LAW AND ORDER?

There's something about a soldier

Put the blame on Mame

Fifteen minute intermission

Shirts and Shoes are required

Low on Ink .. As usual

Don't spit on the floor

Please Constrain Yourself

Limited Edition Available upon Request

Ladies and Gentlemen, Please remove your hats

My Pa can beat your Pa

If you curse the light, you will live in darkness

When shall we three meet again?

With all its faults, this is still the best country to live in

You forgot our date

Democracy may not be the best possible form of government. It is just the best one we know.

Before you sing a song on American Idol, be sure you know the lyrics --Simon

How come so many popular songs are written in the key of F?

So I forgot my pants. Stop staring at me

Tags: Soor slogans

In Old Folks' Home Parking Lot

2008-04-05T11:06:00.000-07:00

Unusual in the old folks' parking lot. Just because it is super modern and we residents are antique, this Honda Goldwing motorcycle and its Motogold trailer look out of place.

I wonder which resident hopes to ride this. More likely is was a grandson or daughter. Nice trailer... I wonder if it is a camper.

I saw some animal crossing the parking lot in the dusk. I chased it. It did not run away from me, but kept on its way. When I caught up with it, I saw it was a wind-blown McDonalds bag, dumped by a careless passer by. Well, It looked like a puppy or rabbit at first... in he dark.

Not in the parking lot, but nearby in the rose garden. Remember Twiggy, the rosebush we tracked all last year. Here she is in 2008, already bushed out and bearing the first two roses I have seen this year. Trust Twiggy, to be the first to bloom this year.

Senior Moments

2008-04-04T10:49:00.000-07:00

I am sure the credit card company didn't plan it this way... but it took this senior FOURTEEN telephone calls to activate his new credit card.

Well, I blame it on my recent surgery, but I have wet every pair of pants I have put on this week, except the ones I am wearing now... so far. Fortunately I have plenty more hanging in the closet, dry and ready to wear.

I thought I was having a heart attack last night, but I took Tylenol and went back to bed. I woke up this morning, so everything turned out all right.

I can no longer get into my van without assistance. The Physical Therapist is looking into a "motorcycle jack" which would lift me enough so my behind can reach the car seat. Isn't that a remarkable thought...being jacked up so I can get into my own car.

These senior moments come more often now... and it takes fourteen times as many phone calls to get anything done.

Pardon these complaints... I swore I would not complain about getting old... it is so much better than the alternative.

The Old Folks go to Lunch

2008-04-03T15:15:00.000-07:00

Today thirteen of us old folks went to lunch on the old folks' bus. Thirteen at lunch was not bad luck, it was good luck.

Lunch was at a nice courtyard restaurant, al fresco. We sat at two tables and enjoyed chatting while we waited. Of course, being seniors, we had trouble deciding what we wanted to eat. And we changed our minds often as we heard our tablemate's choice and it sounded better than ours.

Then we forgot what we ordered, and when the waitress came with the plates and asked, "Who gets the warm Tuna Melt with potato salad," no one claimed it.

"What did I order," asked Sheila.

"Chef's salad," I told her. But the waitress brought no Chef Salad. Actually she had ordered Turkey, Avocado, and something sandwich. But it got straightened out.

After lunch we discovered a large soft drink on the table that no one had drunk. "Not mine." everybody claimed.

Then the activity director who had taken us had the impossible job of finding out who owed what...for which. Lou forgot to bring any money at all. Sheila and Rose were, jointly, five dollars short, Alberta had to write a check...and to whom should it be made out? Chuck had a twenty dollar bill and needed change. Jeannie counted out the bill to the penny, and paid in quarters. Doris had to talk Alberta into including her in the check she was writing and Doris would give Alberta the money...more or less. But it all got done.

Almost everyone had a plastic container to take home, with left overs. We don't eat a lot at a time, and restaurants serve more than seniors eat. Of course, no one would consider not taking their left overs home.

It was a wonderful outing, with good food and great ambiance. We are making plans for next month.

Tags: Lunch out for the old folks