Bittersweet

   This is a bittersweet time of life.

   It is bitter because...

   ...my colon cancer has made my belly ache hard to take much too often,  Little knife blades stick me in my tummy.

   ...my charming tablemate, whose company made meals a pleasant experience, is in the hospital in a coma. My cardplaying buddy, 87, with whom I played our silly kid's game of Rummy every single night, fell in the shower, broke his hip and is also in the hospital.

   ...my neurothesia has reached my hands and made typing hard to manage,  Writing is my escape, my job, my hobby, and it is growing increasingly hard to do.

But it is a sweet time too because...

   ...I am surrounded by friends and family who understand and support me, comfort me, and do the things for me that I can no longer do.  This old folks home is the place to be when you can no longer do for yourself.

   ...I still sleep well, albeit in four hour periods between visits to the bathroom, and escape the pain for eight hours a day.

   ...It is a time of remembrance and reflection of my life.  It has been a full life.  It has handed me the best and worst life has to offer.  I have had delightful companions and raised wonderful children. I have swum in two oceans and walked on two continients. I have piloted my owh airplane, captained my own boat, driven cars, trucks, tanks, and motocyles. I have never been without food or shelter. But I have been blown up, crippled, divorced, hospitalized, arrested and jailed. I have been a hero and a pariah. I have had the best and worst of life.

   This is a bittersweet time.  Life is (was) worth living.

Tags: Swan song