Saturday, May 20, 2006

Unlucky Lucky Day

When the telephone rings and a recorded voice says “Congratulations, this is your lucky day, …” I don’t get excited. I know what I have won, five days and nights in Las Vegas, a trip to Acapulco, or the right to mortgage my home for 5%, is a bogus non-prize.

So when the voice said, “This is County Bank, you have won two prizes in our raffle,” I should have been expecting what I actually got. But I got my hopes up. Silly me.

One day recently at the bank, I noticed a table filled with gorgeous gift filled baskets. One caught my eye: It was filled with Hershey Bars, M & M, and other candy. Wow, what a treat. They were being raffled off to provide a fund to send teen-ages on a safe and sane “grad night” party.

That’s a worthy cause. An all-night grad night party with chaperones in a confined venue and a breakfast in the morning. The idea, I presume, is to cut down on drunken brawls, pregnancy, and head-on car crashes that occur in unsupervised communities. I could contribute to that.

I dug out my wallet and fished out the one dollar bills. There were four. I passed them to the lady in charge and she wrote my name and phone number on some tickets and marked them with the number of the basket I hoped to win…the one with the candy.

I went home and forgot about it, until later in the day. I got a call. There was five dollar bill in with the ones. They put the extra five dollars back in my account. (Glad they didn’t just give me five more chances.)

A few weeks later, last night in fact, I got a message that I had won “a couple of prizes” and could stop by for them.

Wow, more that one prize. How will I carry those two big baskets on my scooter. Oh, wait. How could I have won TWO baskets? I only chose one. Oh, well, I will take the one with the candy and leave the other to be awarded to a runner-up. I was all largess and benevolence, I was so lucky. I could afford to share my prize. After all, it was all in a good cause.

This morning I scooted to the bank. Yes, the baskets were still on the table, and lucky number ten with the candy was still sitting tantalizingly there. I told my name to the lady in charge.

She handed me, not candy, but two envelopes: “You won TWO prizes… taco bell and car wash.”

Zing. Hershey melt down. My prizes evaporated like a trip to Acapulco from a mortgage company in Las Vegas. Poof.

What I had actually won was two “CBO Meals” from Taco Bell and Five “Prime Shine” car washes from Express Car Wash.

If you think I was disappointed, compare that with the crushing blow felt by the high school grad, confined to a safe and sane dry dance hall who had expected to spend his graduation night getting drunk, racing his car, and getting laid.


garnett109 said...

That was a great story, and the ending has me chuckling! thanks!

jckfrstross said...

LMAO too funny my friend hope you at least went and got chocolate:)


kateh2ocolorart said...

Laughed out loud at the ending!  You didn't say..."HEY, I bought tickets for #10"??? kate

sylviam4000 said...

This was funny - you really are a right Chuck(le). Keep laughing.
Sylvia xx

judypearllove said...

what a terrible disappointment to you and the highschool dates. boo hoo !!!!!

mtrib2 said...

I thought that I had 3015 miles on my credit that I could cash in.    I read the requirement to get a round trip ticket was 25,000 miles to anywhere in the 48 states.   12,000 miles is good for a one night stay at a Hyatt.     I do not understand what relevance Chase's term for miles is.    Points could be a term that is ambiguous, but miles?    I wanted to fly from St. Louis to San Antonio and I must accumulate 25,000 miles.     I hope the Taco Bells will provide you a small pleasure.    Maybe you could give the car washes to someone that can use them.    A person in St. Louis found a $100,000 lottery ticket in his truck and tried to cash it in thinking that he was within the 1 year limit which is apparently what some of the prizes advertise.    It turned out he was over the 7 month limit for that prize category.    Several lawyers turned down his lawsuit against the State of Missouri, but he finally found one and the court ruled in his favor.    It was unknown at the time if the state would appeal and he did receive his prize, minus lawyer fees.       mark

plieck30 said...

Thats about my luck but I will fall for it every time when I think it is a good cause. You could wash your buggie I guess. Paula

bamawmn46 said...

HOW DISAPPOINTING!!  Maybe you can find your chocolate at the end of the rainbow.....

nyboots said...

Hey!!! Give the car washes to that great activity director u got there!!!! :)

monponsett said...

I was teaching in Plymouth, before I sold the Duxbury house and got wealthy. In mid-lecture, I went for the Pepsi that I had on my desk (I'm the only French person in the world who doesn't drink coffee).

Opening it, I noticed that I had won a prize. It was their March Madness promotion, and my bottlecap had Michigan State on it.... yes, the same Michigan State who had won the national title the night before.

I immediately halted my lecture, and did a little dance. "I won, I won, nyah-nyahhhh.... I'm retiring today, and you brats can learn history on your own."

Ashley- a very polite student who had just moved there from Alabama- meekly raised her hand. I called on her, while packing my stuff- I fully intended to leave the school immediately.

"Umm... Miss Moreau? You, ummm, won a hat."

"No way... this has to be worth a half million."

"No... you won a hat."

I looked at the rules on the side of the bottle. Yup... I won a hat. No retirement at age 25 for THIS girl.

Just to give them a sense of perspective, I gave the class a surprise quiz. Smug little SOBs..

monponsett said...

Also... if I were you... I'd wait till the doctor gives you like one day left to live, hop on the scooter nude, get the two taco meals, then take the scooter through the car wash in the buff. I bet God will still be laughing when you get to Heaven.