Thursday, February 28, 2008

PASSING OF THE TORCH

HEY everyone!  Chuck moved last night to a Rehab Center for a week of rehab so he can hopefully come home for more recooperation in a week!  Thanks for your prayers, support and messages.  Don't lose interest...the Master Dribbler will be back soon!

Kate

Thursday, February 21, 2008

Coming Out of Surgery

Hey Chuck's J-Land family, this is Kate again...#1 daughter.

 

He's come out of surgery like a champ, doing well though he got mixed up at first, thought HE was on American Idol...he'll tell you about it when he's home.  Please know that though recovery is tough, he's handling everything well except the dry-mouth.  Hopefully the resection will heal soon, and he'll get to suck on ice chips for awhile. YAY...every little step is a big one!

Off I go to take more of your wonderful, encouraging comments to him.  Will let you know when anything changes.

Joy and blessings to everyone!  Kate

Monday, February 18, 2008

Good Enough for Alan Alda

HELLO ALL...this is Cub Reporter Kate, Chuck's daughter reporting on the status of Chuck today!  He's been hospitalized since last Friday afternoon, and after being poked and prodded in ALL the embarassing places, he's scheduled for surgery tomorrow afternoon.  Chuck asked me to update his J-land friends from time to time...He's anxious as anyone 83 years old would be at the prospect of surgery, but he has a wide support system of family, friends and J land readers that give him the courage to carry on.  We're hoping he'll feel lots better after recovering from this event, hopefully better than he really has in a long time.  However...he'll be out of J-land commission for awhile...probably at least two weeks. (Probably JUST enough time for me to finally learn his RIGHT CLICK mouse configuration.)

Here's his quote:  "If Alan Alda can survive a gastric resection while on vacation in Chile, I ought to be okay in Merced.  At least I am less scared than I was."

I'm sure you will be wishing him well, and I'll try to get your responses printed out and taken to him frequently.  He'll be out of it for a few days, we know for sure.

Keep on bloggin'  Kate

 

Friday, February 15, 2008

The Flamsteeds Have Run Out of Niz

   I woke, and lay in bed contemplating the chore ahead.  Fix the printer...again.  I had tried to print a document when the printer was out of paper.  Well, ex...coooose ME.  Mr. Printer gets huffy and goes on permanent leave. Adding paper does not solve the problem. Printer is AWOL.  All afternoon and evening, life goes on without a printer.

  I had spent the better part of an hour trying to clear the printer's queue to no avail. The computer says it is clearing the queue....but it ISN'T. So who is lying?  The computer or the printer? That's what was occupying my mind as I lay in bed.

   I suddenly realized I was living through a science fiction story.  "Help Help The spaceship is falling into the sun... we're all doomed."

  "Fear not," says Captain Creep, "Scotty will fix the Flamsteeds and we'll be back in orbit an a par-sec or two."

   "No, no...Brooke Shields, the guest alien this episode, has stolen all the Nix. Without Nix we cannot glick the back-glacker. We're doomed, I say."

   "What? What did she do with the Nix?"

   "Well... she drank it.  Aliens consume great quantities of Nix when they are rutting."  Fortunately, Science Officer Spook knows that Ozee can be used to replace Nix/

   "But we have no Ozee on board...this is a peace keeping ship, not a battlestar," Captain Creep reminds everyone.  But Spook knows that Ouzo can be converted to Ozee by adding a small amount of...water.

   They rush to the bar and get some Ouzo, and...well, you see how it comes out...just before the final commercial.

   So, using he techniques from science fiction, I have determined that the computer AND the printer are telling the truth, and it is the connection between them that is at fault.

   Now I have something to do this morning.

Wednesday, February 13, 2008

Wacky Way to Order Medical Supplies

I just ordered a pair of hearing aids for eleven thousand dollars.

Your hearing is all right... I really said it... eleven thousand dollars.

They're really nice.  They are adjusted to your personal hearing loss in discrete steps. They discriminate noise from speech, and cancel the noise. They are tiny sub-miniature devices that fit behind the ear. They make understanding speech easier.  They are costly.

But not as costly as stated.  According to AOL you could buy TWO NEW CARS (In India) for that price. The wacky way is works is this.

The hearing aid dealer bills my health insurance co the $11,000.  They naturally say "Whoa, That is ridiculous. They are only worth HALF of that..."

"Furthermore  we pay only 80% of the cost."  So, if they agree, they send the dealer a purchase order for whatever 80% of half of $11,000 is. 

Then the dealer discounts the price by 20%, and I end up paying only for the ear molds... $250. 

Wacky?  I love it.... if it works.   Stay tuned.

Monday, February 11, 2008

Cost of Recreation

How much recreation will ten dollars buy?

At the movies, ten dollars will get you a two and half hour movie, including the coming attractions and pop-corn ads.  (Wont pay for movie AND large pop-corn though)

At your nearest casino, ten dollars will get you about ten minutes of gambling and fun at the slot machines.

However, ten dollars spent at the 99 cent store will buy you an HOUR of recreation.  Up and down the aisles you cruise, gawking and marveling at the tons of stuff you could buy for 99 cents.  Not only do you get an hours recreational cruising, but you come home with a load of things you absolutely do NOT need. 

In my case I got...

1. a roll of paper towels.  ($1.50 at the grocery)..

2. four teaspoons..(I needed one, but they came four in a package) ..

3. five pencil sharpeners. (I needed one...cost $1.84 at the drug store, but I got five in one package for 99 cents.) 

4. A deck of playing cards... ($2.79 at the drug store)

5. ditto a second deck

6.  two staple pullers.  (Actually nobody needs any, since you can pull staples by hand, but they are handy to have and came two to a package.)

7. A 24" beach ball. (I have NO use for this at all, but it was cheap.  I heard a lady tell her husband "You might as well get that, it is only a dollar."  That seemed to be my philosophy too.)

8. a one pound box of Nabisco crackers, Onion flavored.. ($2.49 at the market) and

9. a scanning FM radio.  (I have to put in my own AAA batteries.)

10  something else I have no recollection of.  I surely didn't need it badly, I cannot remember what it was.

Total cost, less than ten dollars, except there was a sales tax. Time spent cruising, about an hour.  Really, cheap entertainment


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Sunday, February 10, 2008

Lincoln Quiz

   A quiz about Abraham Lincoln. 

   Left click you mouse and drag the cursor over the answers to reveal them.

Lincoln was born Feb 12..what year? 1809

He died April 18, what year? 1865 

Cause of death? Assassination  BY John Wilkes Booth

Wife's maiden name?  Mary Todd

How many children did they have"  Four

   (extra credit for their names:   Robert,  Edward, William (Willie) Thomas (Tad)

Became president March 4, what year  1861

Served until he died...how long.. Four years, one month, 14 days

Born in Hardin County, What state.  Kenturcky

Died in what state?  Washington D.C. 

What was the name of the theater in which he was shot? Fords Theater

Occupation when elected?  Lawyer

Other government jobs   Judge,  Congressman

Nicknames  Honest Abe and The Railsplitter

  (More extra credit: Mother's maiden name:  Nancy Hanks) 

Saturday, February 9, 2008

Gettysburg Address Quiz

   Here is a copy of Abraham Lincoln's  Gettysbug Address from Wikipedia.  Some words or phrases have been blanked out.  You can test your familiarity with this wonderful, inspiring speech by how well you can recall the missing parts.

   You can also left click your mouse and drag the cursor over the lines to reveal them.

The Gettysburg Address

Four score and seven years ago our fathers brought forth on this continent a new nation, conceived in Liberty, and dedicated to the proposition that all men are created equal.

Now we are engaged in a great civil war, testing whether that nation, or any nation, so conceived and so dedicated, can long endure. We are met on a great battle-field of that war. We have come to dedicate a portion of that field, as a final resting place for those who here gave their lives that that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and proper that we should do this.

But, in a larger sense, we can not dedicate—we can not consecrate—we can not hallow—this ground. The brave men, living and dead, who struggled here, have consecrated it, far above our poor power to add or detract. The world will little note, nor long remember what we say here, but it can never forget what they did here. It is for us the living, rather, to be dedicated here to the unfinished work which they who fought here have thus far so nobly advanced. It is rather for us to be here dedicated to the great task remaining before us—that from these honored dead we take increased devotion to that cause for which they gave the last full measure of devotion—that we here highly resolve that these dead shall not have died in vain—that this nation, under God, shall have a new birth of freedom—and that government of the people, by the people, for the people, shall not perish from the earth

  

Friday, February 8, 2008

One Man's Junk ....

   ... is another man's treasure.

   When I am bored silly, I go shopping in the aisles of the Stationery Store... Staples, to be precise.  And I am a sucker for bargains.  Consequently, I have a huge supply of assorted ball point pens.

   In order to dispose of some before they dry out and are completely useless I put a double hand full in a container on my table in the dining room. 

   "Oh," said one  of my table mates, picking up a bright green one, "may I have this?"

   "Of course."

   This reminded me of a day long ago when I had been cleaning up the backyard.  I filled a trailer with ivy clippings that I had trimmed from the hedge.  I needed to take them to the dump.

   In order to secure the ivy in the trailer, I covered it all with a worn out plastic swimming pool cover and wedged it down with a junk television antenna.  While I was driving to the dump a gust of wind caught the pool cover and blew it and the television antenna into the street.

   Before I could turn around,one passer by had grabbed the useless old pool cover, and another had grabbed the old television antenna, and both took off with them.  I laughed out loud.  I turned back toward the dump and slowly proceeded, careful not to let too much ivy blow out.

   As I was unloading the ivy cuttings at the dump, another driver hailed me.  "If I plant that, will it grow?"

   I said yes and he took the ivy cuttings.

   One man's junk is another man's treasure.

Thursday, February 7, 2008

Don't Leave Me Online Without My Leash

I need somebody to look after me.  Allowed to roam the internet looking for bargains is not good for me.  My recent on-line puichases came today. 

Two surprizes.

The video disk I ordered In the Shadow of the Moon turned out to be a BOOK. ... a book like the kind you READ.  Oh, well, I will enjoy it.

The shirts that I ordered came and have SLEEVES.  I haven't worn long sleeves for as long as I can remember.  At least they fit better than the last shirts I bought on-line.  And a happy surprize, they have two breast pockets.  I like that. 

Food for Thought

Curious:  Whales are mammals and have the richest milk...50% fat. But pair this with the fact that the mammals with the second-richest milk are guinea pigs, 46% fat, and you have a fact worth pondering.

A cow can swim, but aren't you glad they can't fly?

Do you know what kind of an animal a wether is? Left click your mouse and drag the cursor over the line below to find out.

A wether is a neutered male goat.

Monday, February 4, 2008

More Songs Quiz

Here are more song titles and lines from songs with certain word blanked out.  Can you supply the hidden words.

Left click your mouse and drag the cursor over the blank to reveal it.

My adobe hacienda

My dreams are getting better all the time

I only have eyes for you

Isle of Capri

It don’t mean a thing if you ai’n’t got that swing

It had to be you No other would do

It looks like rain in cherry blossom lane

It only hurts for a little while

It’s a big wide wonderful world

I’m Blue and broken hearted

I found my thrill on Blueberry Hill

Bluebird of happiness

The moon and you and Blue Hawaii

Blue tailed fly

Body and soul

Born free

Born again

Big bouquet of roses

The girl from Ipanima

Give my regards to Broadway

Yes, sir, that’s my baby

You took the part that once was my heart so why not take All of me

Do nothing ‘til you hear from me

I Don’t get around much anymore

Don’t let the stars get in your eyes

Saint Louis blues

don’t sit under the apple tree with anyone else but me

Let’s go where the lights are shining..Downtown

Embrace me you swseet embraceable, you

Enjoy yourself it’s later than you think

Everybody loves somebody sometime

Everything is coming up roses

Georgia on my mind

Barney Google

Georgie girl

Get me to the church on time

I left my heart in San Francisco

Give me a little kiss, will ya huh>?

 


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Sunday, February 3, 2008

Silly Similies

I'd like to get in on the word game fun that is going around.

Here: make up a simile, the sillier the better, by filling in the blanks.

A BLANK BLANK without a BLANK BLANK, is like a BLANK BLANK without a BLANK BLANK.

Feel free to change the "without" or "with". 

A MODERN TEEN-AGER without a CELL PHONE is like a LEG O'LAMB without MINT JELLY

No, it doesn't make sense.  That is part of  the fun.

A STARBUCKS CUSTOMER without a LAP TOP is like a PIZZA DELIVERYMAN without a GLOBAL POSITIONER.

Even sillier.  You can do better. 

Trade Secret

I'm going to let you in on a "trade secret".  Trouble is, everyone already knows it.

Hewlett-Packard sells a color printer, with scanner included for $49.  What? How s that possible. A  color printer...and it can be used as a copy machine, even without the computer.  How do they do that> 

Here's the not-so-secret secret.  You have to buy ink in their cartridges... at their prices,  A black and white cartridge, and a color cartridge come packaged together for nearly SIXTY dollars.  And.... and..... and just a few pages later the computer tells you "The ink is low."

The cartridge holds a minuscule dab of ink.  I  figure that my ink costs are going to be two or three hundred dollars a year... for the little dab of printing that I do. They ought to PAY ME to use their printer. The cartridges are packed in Somalia, or somewhere,  They must use an eye dropper to put in the ink.

Here's a thought: maybe gasoline companies ought to sell cars... of the old fashioned fuel guzzling variety, for ten bucks apiece, and then sell gasoline at the prices they have now.  They'd get richer than they are already.

Saturday, February 2, 2008

Groundhog Day

"My day" sort of sneaked up on me this year.  I have always had an affinity for Groundhog Day, Feb. 2.

    It was the day I got out of the service... in 1946. 

   Grandfather Groundhog was my favorite character when reading stories to my children.  He was clever, with common sense, and homespun humor.

   When I studied "hibernation" in science, groundhogs were the principal test creatures. The professor in charge later switched to chipmunks which hibernate just as well and because...well, he said, "Do you know just how much poop a laboratory full of groundhogs can produce?"

   I like groundhogs because they are perverse... like me.  If the ground hog sees his shadow, that means more winter.  You'd expect the opposite.  You'd think if it was overcast when he pops out of his burrow, he'd think that meant more winter.

   And most of all, Groundhog Day means that days are going to be getting longer, warmer, and no matter what he sees, the worst of Winter is past.  Spring is on the way. 

   Groundhogs are sometimes called Woodchucks.  Have you ever even seen a Woodchuck, Chuck?  No.

   I've seen Prairie Dogs though.  How come they don't have their own day?  They live in burrows and come out in the spring.  Let's declare March 2 as Prairie Dog Day.

PPM WYSIWYG, M&M

PPM...pages per minute.  I bought a new printer because it promised a phenominal number of pages per minute.  Well, it prints FAST.  But...it takes l-o-n-g breaks leading the document.  Much slower over-all than old antique printer I was using.

So PPM doesn't mean anything.

WYSDIWYG. What you see is what you get.  Not often.  Recently got email about a new DVD that sounded interesting... about astronauts on the moon.  It offered a pre-release price of $19.99 with free shipping..  I could do that.  So I tried to navigate the site.  Well, with all the punching and clicking and filling out of forms, I managed to order. 

However, when the confirmation came, via email, I had committed myself to over $35.  Huh?  Well, I punched the purchase order button twice

I had ordered two... but the purchase price was NOW $14.99 times two PLUS shipping and handling.  But who needs TWO?

So I called up the order blank, canceled the order for two, and reordered ONE...back at $19.99 plus shipping and handling.  Took half an hour of typing to do that, having to type address and credit card into over and over and over. 

Now I'm going to get ONE, but it is going to my old apartment number... I just hope the FedEx guy can find me.

WYSIWYG... doesn't mean anything.

M&M.  Straight forward, is iy not, candy that melts in your mouth, not in your hand... according to the slogan.   Well, they WILL melt in your hand if you hold them too long... but no one does that..they pop 'em in their mouth. So the slogan is true.  They melt in your mouth.  Love 'em.

What I am wondering is...can anyone let an M&M melt in his mouth, or will he surrender to temptation and CRUNCH it before it melts.  I'll bet you can't let an M&M melt in your mouth... all the way.  You just can't


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Friday, February 1, 2008

Kollege of Musical Knowledge

Remember Kay Kaiser’s Kollege of Musical Knowledge? Or Remember Name That Tune?

Here’s your chance. Here are lines from songs. See if you can fill in the missing words.

Left click your mouse and run the cursor over the blank to reveal it.

You made me love you.

I’ll never smile again.

Tuck me to sleep in my old Kentucky Home.

Two cigarettes in the dark.

Fiddler on the roof.

In the cool cool cool of the evening.

Three little words

Have I told you lately that I love you?

Love is lovelier the second time around.

April in Paris.

Never on Sunday.

Aint we got fun?

Allegany Moon.

I’m gonna sit right down and write myself a letter.

Somewhere over the rainbow blue birds fly.

You and the night and the music.

I get no kick from champagne but I get a kick out of you.

We were rough and ready guys, but Oh how we could harmonize

I’m in the mood for love.

Good night, Sweetheart

Good night, Irene

Good night, Ladies

You gotta have heart.

In the blue, blue blue of the evening

You always hurt the one you love

Sixty Years Later

In 1948 the streets were flooded with little cars, VW's.  They were so tiny compared with 'normal" cars that we called them "bugs".

The Bug was praised as the People's Car.  It was cheap to build and buy, and economical to run.  The promise of a "City Car" in every garage was made.  And we said, "Now why can't Detroit do that?  Make a little utilitarian vehicle?"

Meanwhile Japan did, France and Italy did.  Even Korea did.

Today scooting home from the market, I saw parked at the curb, a brand new bug.  Made by a U.S. manufacturer..Behold, it was a new Chevrolet, and it looked just like a VW. I don't know the name of the model.

We finally did it.  The U.S. has made a "city car".  Good idea.  And it only took sixty years to catch up. 


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