Friday, February 15, 2008

The Flamsteeds Have Run Out of Niz

   I woke, and lay in bed contemplating the chore ahead.  Fix the printer...again.  I had tried to print a document when the printer was out of paper.  Well, ex...coooose ME.  Mr. Printer gets huffy and goes on permanent leave. Adding paper does not solve the problem. Printer is AWOL.  All afternoon and evening, life goes on without a printer.

  I had spent the better part of an hour trying to clear the printer's queue to no avail. The computer says it is clearing the queue....but it ISN'T. So who is lying?  The computer or the printer? That's what was occupying my mind as I lay in bed.

   I suddenly realized I was living through a science fiction story.  "Help Help The spaceship is falling into the sun... we're all doomed."

  "Fear not," says Captain Creep, "Scotty will fix the Flamsteeds and we'll be back in orbit an a par-sec or two."

   "No, no...Brooke Shields, the guest alien this episode, has stolen all the Nix. Without Nix we cannot glick the back-glacker. We're doomed, I say."

   "What? What did she do with the Nix?"

   "Well... she drank it.  Aliens consume great quantities of Nix when they are rutting."  Fortunately, Science Officer Spook knows that Ozee can be used to replace Nix/

   "But we have no Ozee on board...this is a peace keeping ship, not a battlestar," Captain Creep reminds everyone.  But Spook knows that Ouzo can be converted to Ozee by adding a small amount of...water.

   They rush to the bar and get some Ouzo, and...well, you see how it comes out...just before the final commercial.

   So, using he techniques from science fiction, I have determined that the computer AND the printer are telling the truth, and it is the connection between them that is at fault.

   Now I have something to do this morning.

9 comments:

garnett109 said...

Have no Idea chuck , Good Luck!

kateh2ocolorart said...

HAHA!  Love your train of thought!!!  LMAO, great story!  Reminds me of the one about Ginger and Snap(?)  the curious wire haired terriers (?) who jumped into the back of the Good Humor Man's truck (?)  (It's hell for the kid to get old.)
Kate

madcobug said...

What an imagination you have hee hee. Might be you have to uninstall the printer then reinstall it, or unplug the printer and computer both from the outlet and let both them set a few minutes and let them reset themselves. I have had to do that before. Helen

sunnybethe said...

Ohhhhh, a crush on Brooke Sheilds : )  On a Spaceship, rather phallic.  And shall we talk about what "water" represents in Pycho-babble?  Hehee...you ain't dead, yet!!

Hope you can get that printer fixed.  I see a few people have left suggestions.  MINE...don't get the Windows Vista program.  My Printer/Scanner wasn't compatiable.  Hello, New Printer!

: Bethe

specialadyfink said...

Madcobug is right-unplug-leave the printer unplugged for about 5 minutes while you go check out the babes-plug it in and watch it whirr into action again. Love that Captain Creep(LOL)
Have a good un...
connie

swmpgrly said...

lol

jarico63 said...

I don't know if this will work with yours but here goes. I plug mine in by usb, when mine does that I restart the computer, unplug printer cable, and plug it back in after windows loads. It prints whatever it didn't print then its fine again...until the next time...lol. Sheila

jmorancoyle said...

    OPA! When they are done turning the Ouzo into Ozee, they can celebrate by drinking what's left of the Ouzo. On the other hand, your printer was put there by an alien who thought you needed a new project. Good luck getting it back on line. When you're done, you can fly to Chicago and fix mine.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay

jmorancoyle said...

    OPA! When they are done turning the Ouzo into Ozee, they can celebrate by drinking what's left of the Ouzo. On the other hand, your printer was put there by an alien who thought you needed a new project. Good luck getting it back on line. When you're done, you can fly to Chicago and fix mine.
Jude
http://journals.aol.com/jmorancoyle/MyWay