A One Act Play by Maxwell Smudgepot
Customer Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup
Waiter: Don’t worry, he won’t eat much
Customer That fly is in my soup
Waiter Shh, not so loud, sir all the customers will want one
Customer What is the fly doing n my soup?
Waiter I believe it is the backstroke
Customer I can’t believe this. A fly in my soup.
Waiter This morning he was in the gravy
Customer Aren’t you gonna tell the cook?
Waiter Hey, Eddie, Fuzzy is in the soup again.
Cook That ain’t Fuzzy, Fuzzy is in the stew,
Waiter Sir, that fly is an imposter.
Customer Soup in a bowl please, but without a fly.
Waiter There you are sir. Soup in a bowl without a fly
Customer I can’t eat this soup
Waiter Sir, there is no fly in that soup
Customer I can’t eat it
Wairer Why not?
Customer Just taste it
Waiter Well, all right. Ah, where’s your spoon?
Customer Aha. Precisely.
Waiter I’ll get you a spoon.
Customer Never mind. I‘ll have hot apple pie and black coffee
Waiter Do you want that heated?
Customer Yes, please. HOT apple pie and black coffee
Waiter Do want something to drink?
Customer Yes, please. Hot apple pie AND black coffee.
Waiter Do you want cream and sugar with that?
Customer Hot apple pie and black coffee without cream
Waiter Sorry, sir, we are out of cream. You’ll have to have it without milk.
Customer I have never been in a restaurant this awful.
Waiter Oh, I am sorry. I thought you had been here before