Sunday, October 23, 2005

The Waiter - A One Act Play

WAITING

A One Act Play by Maxwell Smudgepot

Customer    Waiter, there’s a fly in my soup

Waiter:       Don’t worry, he won’t eat much

Customer   That fly is in my soup

Waiter       Shh, not so loud, sir all the customers will want one

Customer  What is the fly doing n my soup?

Waiter       I believe it is the backstroke

Customer  I can’t believe this. A fly in my soup.

Waiter      This morning he was in the gravy

Customer  Aren’t you gonna tell the cook?

Waiter      Hey, Eddie, Fuzzy is in the soup again.

Cook          That ain’t Fuzzy, Fuzzy is in the stew,

Waiter      Sir, that fly is an imposter.

Customer  Soup in a bowl please, but without a fly.

Waiter      There you are sir. Soup in a bowl without a fly

Customer  I can’t eat this soup

Waiter      Sir, there is no fly in that soup

Customer  I can’t eat it

Wairer      Why not?

Customer  Just taste it

Waiter     Well, all right. Ah, where’s your spoon?

Customer  Aha. Precisely.

Waiter      I’ll get you a spoon.

Customer Never mind. I‘ll have hot apple pie and black coffee

Waiter     Do you want that heated?

Customer Yes, please. HOT apple pie and black coffee

Waiter     Do want something to drink?

Customer Yes, please. Hot apple pie AND black coffee.

Waiter     Do you want cream and sugar with that?

Customer Hot apple pie and black coffee without cream

Waiter   Sorry, sir, we are out of cream. You’ll have to have it without milk.

Customer I have never been in a restaurant this awful.

Waiter Oh, I am sorry. I thought you had been here before

3 comments:

justaname4me2 said...

Congratulations on your nomination!
Now, about that fly....I'm with the customer!
Rebecca

krobbie67 said...

Ha! This reminds me of an Abott and Costello skit. Here's one that you might find humorous: http://www.hostpc.com/forums/index.php?s=ab83b6fa68800622192ad06e2475efc2&showtopic=2376&view=findpost&p=11582

Congratulations on the Vivi nomination!!! :-) ---Robbie

krobbie67 said...

Shoot! That link doesn't work. It's from that site but I think it was a trick to direct people elsewhere. If you do a search on the 'net for Abott and Costello, you'll find it. :-) ---Robbie