Start of fifth day of recuperation at home
It has been suggested to me that this parading my symptoms in my journal is not wise, and merely focuses my own attention unnecessarily upon them. It is airing my dirty linen in public. Therefore, it is probably a good time to examine my motives.
We all seem to want to talk about our experiences, and illness is included. One resident of the old folks home used to come to meals and talk about the “tumor the size of a basketball that was removed from my bowels.” I think she probably meant golf ball or maybe even a baseball, but the image was gross enough to spoil the appetites of anyone who heard her. I don’t want to be like that lady.
But speaking about my symptoms, subtle and gross, is catharsis for me. The more open and stark I am about them, the better able I am to deal with them. When friends ask me how I am, I reply “fine” or “getting better” even when I am discouraged. But when I express my real feelings in my journal, and share the reasons why, I get responses of encouragement, “hang in there”, calm reason, “it is only your fourth day out of the hospital”, and camaraderie, “that happened to me, too”, “I have the same problem.”
Yesterday I called the Physician’s Assistant who works week-ends at the clinic where I go, and asked if Imodium was a proper remedy for my diarrhea considering the medications I am taking. He encouraged it, so I began using it immediately. It has helped.
I stayed in my wheel chair all day instead of going to bed. In fact I took a nap in the chair. I didn’t get into the bed because of my difficulty getting out of it. I will order a trapeze today so I can sit up in bed and then dismount.
I ate moderately small meals and requested applesauce which I have been told is good when you have diarrhea. I played cards after dinner. After cards I read journals. I particularly liked Where Life Takes You, Life without Laundry, and High Above the Courtside. My daughter IM’d me photos of two of her new paintings and they were spectacular. They were possible companion pieces to her present Waving.
I did not watch the academy awards. I took a shot of inhaler, a Tylenol PM, and went to bed at eleven. I had a delicious sleep ON MY SIDE, hallelujah, and woke at five. I had trouble sitting up but the trapeze should help. The care giver came by on his rounds to check on me, and he was able to help me into my wheel chair. He taught me to face him, put my hands on his elbows, and rise with his assistance. It is much smoother than any other way I have tried.
I went to the bathroom, and later ate a snack of peanut butter and crackers. I stayed in my chair, and here I am at six-thirty.