The Unkind Aspect of Aging…
Cousin Bertha learned the computer after she was eighty. For ten years she wrote letters, a journal, not online. At night she would get up at three am and write. She was a marvel. Most of her contemporaries could not.
Then one day she sat at her computer and COULD NOT REMEMBER HOW TO TURN IT ON. She wept, or felt like weeping. Aging, or maybe Alzheimer’s, had regressed her abilities by some ten years.
Her son understood, and made a special mark on the start button so she could get going again. And now she is writing again, but feels the impinging of age. How long before she forgets the special button, or how to operate the programs she is familiar with.
I understand. I live in an old folks home. When I moved in at 75 years of age, I was the youngest. I felt pretty smart. I could remember my neighbors names, the number of my apartment, and my phone number. But now, at 81, it is a different story. I struggle. I pride myself on remembering names… but it is a struggle. One day for several hours I could not remember the name of one of my grandsons. I stormed and fumed and tried to force it back, but no, it was gone. It stayed gone for over an hour. Then it came back when I was thinking of something else.
And the people around me are worse. They lose their way to their rooms, a route they have taken for months, years.
In On Golden Pond, Henry Fonda weeps because he becomes lost a few hundred yards from his home. We weep with him.
My grandmother used to lament, “Oh, how I miss my mind.”
Today, AOL is acting up. I cannot read my email, I cannot reach my journal. How helpless I feel.
Oh, computer, do not fail me. Be my memory for a while longer. My own is stumbling.
PS (see the comments below) I didn't think I was fishing for compliments...but I guess I was. And you were so kind with your compliments. I didn't mean to make Carlene cry. I am not crying...just a little sad. Life is worth living. I have a DATE tomorrow night...with a real live lady... to see a play..that my son-in-law is directing. So we WONT go dancing afterwards... it is still a date.