"Sorry I'm late, Boss. Barking dogs kept me awake all night"
"Why don't don't you complain to your neighbors?"
"Oh, sir, I can't do that. They're my dogs."
"I need a raise, Boss, the price of whiskey and cigarettes is going up again.
"No, I can't work overtime, Boss. I am already working over-time on my night job."
The Veteran's Administration is treating the veteran well in this respect. If he needs medical attention at a Veteran's Hospital, and lives far away from the hospital, the VA will transport him AND give him lodging for the night.
The Veteran's Hospital in San Francico has converted some hospital rooms to hotel rooms and puts the veteran up free, and feeds him dinner. They call this a "Hoptel" room....hospital and hotel. I shared with two gentlemen for two nights.
I was concerned about the cost of the van and driver that the government must pay to transport me the eighty miles from Merced to San Francisco, until I discovered the VA had flown these vets from Michigan and Minnesota to be treated here. San Francisco VA is a special center for the treatment of Parkinson's disease, and these vets needed adjustment to the implants they wear to control tremors. They needed specialized treatment and were transported here for it, and transported home again after.
The only problem with rooming with these guys was that they were on Eastern time and Central time. They went to bed and turned out the lights at SEVEN PM, And they woke with the Michigan crows at FIVE AM...San Francico time. What seemed normal to them was ghastly for me.
While there I was given full attention to my artificial eye replacement. It was custom fitted and custom painted to match my good eye, and was done in one day. It took all day. David, the specialist, is an artist. He looks carefully at your healthy eye and painsakingly copies it, including the tiny red veins on the whites of your eyes. So far it has stayed in place, and looks like it will be a success. David can also do noses and ears, or whatever the veteran needs. It is very special work and vets come from all over the western US and Alaska for prosthesis.
The VA is treating the veterans right.
I am a Leo, an only child, an Alpha Male. I am not used to insecurity. That's why San Francisco, being lost, and not knowing what was going to happen made the trip so hard to bear.
On the trip to San Francisco, we got lost the first time before we left Merced. The driver missed her turn...she was trying to drive and read from computerized directions. She said, "Give me a map and I can get anywhere" but a list of instructions and driving do not mix.
We got lost the second time trying to get back on the freeway. The sign meant "turn right HERE", not "cross the tracks and turn right".
We had the larger part of an hour delay while waiting to get through a toll booth at San Francisco bay bridge.
curious note...there is a toll getting INTO San Francisco, but no toll in getting OUT. It seems they are trying to empty the city, charging entry but letting people out free.
But our most serious getting lost was while the driver was trying to drive through the city streets and read directions at the same time. One series of turns put us back on the entry to the Bay Bridge AGAIN, GOING BACK OUT OF THE CITY. That would have meant being lost in Oakland, and another hour wait to get back to the city at the toll booth. Fortunately we got on the last exit before the bridge.
Phone calls to the dispatcher did not help the driver, but my phone call to the VA hospital did. We got someone on the line, a patient perhaps, who knew San Francico well. He asked where were and then guided us and stayed on line until we were going in right direction.
It was reassuring to have him say, "Now you're going by city hall," and looking up and sure enough, we were passing city hall. He got us on the right street and said, "Keep going until you came to 42nd street." We were at 3rd.
We hit almost every signal on STOP. I have a "two hour bladder" and the trip took four hours.
Embarrassed I checked into the hospital at five pm, but at least I was in time to change my pants and even my socks before dinner which was served in my room.
It was a nice chicken dinner, and I had two taciturn room mates, about which I will rant in a future entry.
Be wary. When you are talking to a Senior Citizen, he may not be "all there".
Today, for reasons I may discuuss in another entry, I forgot to wear my hearing aids when I went to breakfast. I was made aware of this by the muffled roar of the dining room and the far away sound of tablemate, Wilma's, voice. So I had to resort my "bag of tricks" to carry on a normal conversation.
1. Smile and agree. This will suffice at a response to 90% of morning conversation, no matter what the opening statement may be.
"Good Morning "-- smile and agree. That makes you pleasant company. If you could hear, you might snap back, "What's good about it." But a smile will see you through. Compared with your normal grumpiness, it may be unusual, but today you seem to be in a good mood.
"My back is killing me" -- smile and agree. That means you are sympathetic and understanding. It means, "Of course it does, all our backs hurt in the morning. We're in this together."
2. Anticipate. After years of breakfasts, I know what my tablemate is apt to say. She might say, "If Hillary runs for president, I will get on my scooter and go door to door campaigning for whomever runs against her." She would never say, "George Bush goofed again."
My best bet, be non-commital. No need to get into an argument when I am not equipped with ears. "He will see us through," will do. No need to clarify "he" or "see us through" what. There is always a crisis, war in middle east or searing hot weather, or a fuel shortage. I could mean Governor Swartzenegger or President Bush. Smile and agree and act reassuring.
3. Duck -- If you smile and agree to "my hair is a mess, today" you may receive a flying pancake as a response.
The VA van is coming to take me to San Francisco at 1 PM.
Which is better? Wait until the last minute and rush to pack, and probably forget something.
Or...
Do what I did. Get ready THREE HOURS ahead of time...and then have to wait.... and wait.... and wait.
I hate waiting for the van, because I don't want to go at all.
(But give the VA credit. They called ahead to explain the accommodations, and what to expect. It was very considerate, and put my mind at ease. I am dreading the trip much less now.)
One consolation: This trip has made table-mate Wilma wild with jealousy. She is passionate about San Francisco and cannot understand why I am not wild with joy about being there.
Not taking my lap top, so I will see you late Tuesday....Au Revoir.
(Spell check says "Au Revoir" is not right, but doesn't tell what is right.)
It may be blazing outside the old folks home, but it will do you no good to mention it in here.
No matter how hot it is, (It is 108 degrees) if you announce it to an old person, he will tell you about a HOTTER one that (1) is in his home town, (2) is predicted to get tomorrow, (3) it is in their room.
Sometimes I feel like telling conversation TOPPERS to go to Hell and cool off.
John Scalzi's By The Way Weekend Assignment is Do whatever you want, so long as it somehow involves the number 11.
Eleventh chapter, eleventh sentence of Christopher Moore's book A DirtyJob : "4. Names and numbers will come to you." I wonder if eleven will be one of them.
Eleventh book of the Bible (First Kings), eleventh chapter, eleventh verse: "And the LORD said to Solomon, 'Because you have done this, and have not kept My covenant and My statutes, which I have commanded you, I will tear my kingdom from you and give it to thy servant.'" Wow. that's hard. Almost makes you feel sorry for Solomon.
Room Eleven at the old folks home belongs to friend Ray Clark who comes home from the hospital today, and that is good news.
This entry was posted at Eleven AM (my time)
Here is the eleventh photo in my photo bucket:
It was a flag I designed for an earlier assignment.
I would need six more items to make eleven.
A sign on my door says: The Curmudgeon is In -- Enter at own risk
A neighbor asked, "What does that mean?"
I said, "It means, Throw your hat in first. If it does not coming flying back out, consider yourself welcome."
Dad was a widdower for manyyears, and we were glad when he began dating cautiously. He began to escort one lady regularly.
Then we noticed he wasn't taking her out anymore. "Hey, Dad are you still seeing Betty?"
"No, she developed a hearing problem."
"You dumped her because she has a hearing problem?
"Yes. She kept hearing wedding bells."
"Hey, Linda," I said to the cook this morning, "What is this POTLUCK for lunch?"
She looked surprised and went and took a close look at the menu.
She came back and said, "Clean your glasses. It says we are going to have breaded POLLOCK."
Wouldn't you just LOVE a free trip to San Francisco, with accomodations with a view of the Golden Gate?
I am DREADING just such a trip.
The Veteran's Admiunistration's restoration clinic is in the VA hospital in San Francisco, and that is where they make artificial eyes for those of us who lost an eye in the service. The technician who makes them is an artist, perhaps the best in the business. He makes eyes and ears and whatever the veteran is missing. He used to make his creations for the movies, and they included monsters and animals. Only he doesn't make house calls. You have to go to him.
Last time I went, I drove myself. I started at five am and drove and drove, crossed the Bay Bridge, and GOT LOST in San Francisco. It was horrible. Now, years later, I rarely drive at all, and cannot drive myself to the city, and home.
The VA will hire a company to drive me, but we have to go the day before my appointment, I stay overnight at the VA hospital, see the specialist, stay overnight AGAIN, and then get driven home.
There is no sight seeing, no cable cars, no dining on Fisherman's Wharf, no drinks at the Top of the Mark Hopkins Hotel. It is two nights at the VA hospital. It has a view of the Golden Gate, true, from the OUTSIDE...that is, looking from the Pacific Ocean side into the bay. But once you have seen that, say ten minutes, the rest is waiting in a hospital.
And I am not sure I can wear a prosthesis anymore, I have gone without for over a year.
Chuck with new eye after last visit to San Francisco
And that is what has got me up, stewing, at four in the morning, days before my appointment. You would like a free trip, all expenses paid, to San Francisco?
Go in my place.
Wilma says she knows there is a God, because there are strawberries.
I feel that fond of avocados.
I wonder if there is a recipe somewhere for Guacamoleshortcake.
I asked Inga if I could take a picture of her and kitty. Her answer was so vague and vacant that I had a weird feeling that I had been having conversation with a puff of smoke.
I don't know if it was alll right to take her picture or not, and I am not asking again.
P.S. Garnett asks in comments below: Does she really have a cat?
Well, she says she does...but..
George volunteers to play the piano for us every Tuesday, two hours or more. We appreciate it. He gets a tiny honorarium, but it is less than minimum wage, so essentially he is volunteering.
In the old folks home, the piano room adjoins the television room. Sometimes, residents who dont enjoy George sit and listen to the televison while George is playing, and the sound carries to the piano room. George says he doesn't mind, but I sure do. The televsion interferes with the music and their playing it is RUDE to our guest.
Today while he was playing I heard the televsion going, but it was not even a resident. It was some KID. That really frosted my ah, resentment. When the kid stepped out for a minute, I turned off the TV, and STOLE THE REMOTE.
George played in peace. What happened when the kid returned, I do not know, but I kept the remote hidden until George was through.
I can no longer boast that I never stole anything, but, well, it was worth it.
I stoppped by the travel agency next door, and met the agent, Chris, a nice friendly lady.
"I stopped to ask about the cat," I started.
Chris beamed. "Oh, she lives with me. I took her home and set up a place in the garage. It has a door so she can go in and out." Chris kept her closed in for a day, and then opened the kitty door, and she was quite content to stay and goes in and out at will. She is very friendly and affectionate.
Chris almost missed getting the cat. Someone else had the kitty in their car, about to "take it for a ride, away from here" and presumably lose it somewhere. Chiis explained that she needed a pet, having had her two previous pets pass away. The person reprieved kitty, and put her back on our door step, and friends of Chris brought her to Chris.
The friend's daughter named the kitty, Jasmin, and Chris let the name stand. So Jasmin has a home. Jasmin is scheduled for a spaying so she wont be raising litter after litter of babies.
I gave Chris the photos I had taken of the cat, when her name was still Carmel-fudge, or whatever, and she was delighted. "Tell folks she has a happy home."
On my way back I saw Inga still looking in the shrubbery for the cat and told her the news and she was pleased. Later I found out that Inga does have a cat here at the old folks home. I asked what her cat was named.
Inga said, "Kitty."
Since it has been a couple of weeks since I saw Our Cat with the myriad names, I asked the director of this Old Folks Home if she knew anything more about the feline's fate.
The director nodded toward the next door business building, and said, "The lady in the travel agency over there said she was attracted to the cat and she was planning to take it home."
I will inquire on Monday and see what I can find. I will have to be discrete. I cannot go blundering in brusquely demanding to know "What happened to our cat?"
If I do that, the answer might be, "Wait a moment, I'll get her for you." I don't want that.
I want to be able to assure all of J-land that Carmel-fudge is safe and secure and loved, like a Callico Cat should be.
The cat-saga may soon be concluded with a happy ending.
Fascinating assignment in ByThe Way this weenend, by Krissy Scalzi. Google your pets' names and see what you come up with.
I Googled "Griff" my late dog's name and instantly got 850,000 links. Then I googled "Griffin", and got over half a million more.
When I started working with computers, I wrote programs that searched for "strings", or certain words in documents. It was a laborious and slow process. You compared your target string with each progressive string and noted a match, and then moved on to do it all over again for next string. Just alphabetizing twenty six letters took minutes.
So you see why I am "boggled". I entered five and seven letter strings and got millions of comparisions in seconds, and lists of matches 85,000 pages long.
The computer is impressive, and the internet is even more so, and the search engine is most impressive of all.
Needless to say, I did not make 850,000 connections to see what I had discovered. But on the first two pages, while searching "Griff" I found a designer of web sites, a misc jockey, a musical group and listened to a sample of their music, a folk band in he UK, a city in Geogia, ultra microscopic cartoons, a business man in Minnesota, links to wikipedia encyclopedia, a bar, and two actors named Griff, Griff Furst and Griff Somebody else.
An utterly fascinating assignment.
...it caught my eye while I had camera in hand. A "Lily of the Nile".
I wish my little polaroid had a close up lens.
The Unkind Aspect of Aging…
Cousin Bertha learned the computer after she was eighty. For ten years she wrote letters, a journal, not online. At night she would get up at three am and write. She was a marvel. Most of her contemporaries could not.
Then one day she sat at her computer and COULD NOT REMEMBER HOW TO TURN IT ON. She wept, or felt like weeping. Aging, or maybe Alzheimer’s, had regressed her abilities by some ten years.
Her son understood, and made a special mark on the start button so she could get going again. And now she is writing again, but feels the impinging of age. How long before she forgets the special button, or how to operate the programs she is familiar with.
I understand. I live in an old folks home. When I moved in at 75 years of age, I was the youngest. I felt pretty smart. I could remember my neighbors names, the number of my apartment, and my phone number. But now, at 81, it is a different story. I struggle. I pride myself on remembering names… but it is a struggle. One day for several hours I could not remember the name of one of my grandsons. I stormed and fumed and tried to force it back, but no, it was gone. It stayed gone for over an hour. Then it came back when I was thinking of something else.
And the people around me are worse. They lose their way to their rooms, a route they have taken for months, years.
In On Golden Pond, Henry Fonda weeps because he becomes lost a few hundred yards from his home. We weep with him.
My grandmother used to lament, “Oh, how I miss my mind.”
Today, AOL is acting up. I cannot read my email, I cannot reach my journal. How helpless I feel.
Oh, computer, do not fail me. Be my memory for a while longer. My own is stumbling.
PS (see the comments below) I didn't think I was fishing for compliments...but I guess I was. And you were so kind with your compliments. I didn't mean to make Carlene cry. I am not crying...just a little sad. Life is worth living. I have a DATE tomorrow night...with a real live lady... to see a play..that my son-in-law is directing. So we WONT go dancing afterwards... it is still a date.
A work out for the old pocket calculator. Finding the best buy at Longs Drug store.
Pepsi
Six pack of 24 ounce bottles... Two for Five dollars
Twelve pack of 12 ounce cans... Three of Ten dollars
Two liter bottle... 99 cents.
All require deposits on the can or bottle, but supposedly you can get that back, but I wonder how many of us do. I just put them in a separate trash bag and the housekeeper gets to take them for redemption. So, disregard the deposit and the sales tax... they apply to all.
Here we go. Six bottles of 24 ounces is 144 ounces and you get two for five dollars. 288 ounces divided into $5 is...ah... 1.7 cents per ounce.
Twelve 12 oz cans is 144 ounces time three for ten dollars... or 2.3 cents per ounce.
Two liters is 67 ounces for 99 cents. That comes to 1.4 cents per ounces.
The bottles are the cheapest.... go, enjoy... but wait one moment while I check my figures.
Well, I have checked them twice, and this, I think is correct.
John Scalzi's By The Way Weekend assignment - Share your memories of Boston.
Tourguide: You are standing on the exact spot on the north shore that Paul Revere stood in 1775. Do what he did: Bend down and look under the freeway, and you can see Old North Church tower over there in Boston. See. Two laterns. Go, ride, spread the alarm to every middlesex, villiage, and farm."
Patrick's Sunday Seven, exactly a week late:
Name seven things a fourth of July picnic shouldn't be without.
1. Watermelon.
2, Spare rubs
3. Corn on the cob
4. Fireworks at the city park or fair ground
5. A terrified dog to tranquilize, pamper, pet, and coddle.
6. Beer
7. Coca cola, preferably with a little some thing to spike it up with after the sun goes down "past the yard arm"
Here's a Mini-Quiz. Name the original thirteen colonies. As a hint I give you the founding date...but maybe that makes it harder. Run your cursor over the question to reveal the answer.
1607 VA
1620 MA
1636 NY
1633 MD
1636 RI
1636 CT
1638 DE
1638 NH
1653 NC
1663 SC
1664 NJ
1682 PA
1737 GA
What do you know about the supreme court?
Run your cursor over the question to reveal the answers.
How many justices are there? Nine
How many are women? One
Pick the women justices:
Sarah Jessica Parker
Hillary Clinton
Dame Edith Sitwell
Rose Day O’Conner
Ruth Ginsburg This is the one
The number of justices is set by…
constitution,
presidential edict,
senate,
act of congress. This is it.
Name an ex-president who served on the supreme court. TAFT
Name and ex-vice president who became a justice. BYRNES
Name a supreme court Justice who became a president NONE
Yes or no
The justices have to come from different geographic sections of nation NO
They are required by law to wear black robes when court is in session. NO
Supreme court has owncourt house YES
Court sessions are held once every four years. NO Every Year October to October
After twenty years of service and associate justice becomes Chief Justice NO
Pick the current members of the supreme court
Sandra Day O’Conner
Sam Alito Yes
Steven Breyer Yes
Arthur Goldberg
Abe Fortas
John Roberts Yes
Stephen Breyer Yes
Thurgood Marshall
John Jay
Antonin Scalia Yes
Anthony Kennedy Yes
John Marshall
Louis Brandeis
Clanence Thomas Yes
Oliver Wendell Holmes
Ruth Ginsburg Yes
David Souter Yes
Which one is the chief justice John Roberts
.
Okay, here's a clearerlook at Carmel Fudge (aka Simba, Bird, Miss Kitty, Owl, )
Longer view showing size.
Ignoring the water that was set out for her, she drinks her fill from a mud puddle.
Resting and looking healthy enough. She got into the building while we were watching fireworks.
Here at last: a picture of the cat. But the picture will generate more questions than answers.
For instnance: Are you sure that it is a cat? Where is her face? What kind of cat is she?
Answers: Well, sort of. In there some place. Domestic short hair.
Some things we know. 1. She is not Inga's. 2. She is not feral, that is, she is not afraid of people and hiding. Here she is curled up by the door and let me come right up and take her picture. 3. She is brown with orange fur showing through. 4. She does not appear to be pregnant (at the moment).
So okay, send your questions. I will try to find the answers.
This is not a contest: no wagering, please.
One Fourth of July, about 1962, while driving home from the World's Fair in Seattle, we spent some time playing in the SNOW at Crater Lake, OR. That's one high lake, and one deep one too.
Then we continued south to a trailer park in Woodland, CA, where we parked for the night, and sat in our camp chairs and watched the fireworks at the fairgrounds next door.
What a contrast, from snow to summer evening, all in the same day.
...stand up and salute. And if you wear red, white and blue shorts, and a shirt that says "proud to be an American DAD" so much the better.
Now off in my scooter to make an American Patrol around the air conditioned halls of the old folks home.
Drum roll, please.
I asked Inga if the stray cat, "Sherbert" or "Bird", were hers. She said, "No. I vould not brink a cat to this place. My cat is at my old home, safe and vell cared for."
I am about to take my camera and go on a cat hunt.
Today I am posting on the 4th of July bulletin board these lines I copied from Emma Lazarus' poem The New Colossus.
Give me your tired, your poor,
Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free,
The wretched refuse of your teeming shore.
Send these, the homeless, tempest-tost to me,
I lift my lamp beside the golden door!"
At midnight last night, the cat, whose picture I forgot to take yesterday, jumped up on my window sill.
Startled me. When I gathered my senses, I rushed to get the camera, but by the time I got it ready she was gone.
She is gray tabby, with touches of orange fur peeking through. It is as if there is a Calico cat inside, trying to get out.
Calico cats are famously friendly...will come when you call, like a dog. Not this feline though. Been feral too long I would guess. Wary and street wise.
Saga to be continued.
...at seven pm that cat still lounging by the front door.
(Oh, silly me. I had my camera with me, the cat sat still, but I forgot I needed to post a picture of the cat here.)
Facts are hard to come by in an old folks home, where every tale has the ring of truth in it, and yet, every tale may come from the distant past and live only in the memories of the residents.
Now, I hear, fact or fantasy I know not which, that the "stray" cat that some people are trying to drive away and some are feeding and inviting in, is not a stray at all, but is a cat that Inga moved in with, pays the "pet surchage" to keep, and has escaped.
I could ask Inga, but I'm sure I would be just as confused after talking to her as I am now. Her deep Swedish accent is charming, but not easily understood. Ja, sure, das cat mine ist. (Did I mention that Inga was raised in Germany, and lived her adult life in Minnesota?)
Seems to me I saw the cat hanging 'round before Inga moved in.
Stay tuned.
Fourth of July was my Uncle's birthday, (1909) and we always had an outdoor meal. It was usually fried chicken and a watermelon feed.
Family tradition was that it was our first watermelon of the year. Now that watermelons are shipped in from Mexico and beyond starting in March, it is quite unusual to wait until Independence Day for the first melon of he year, but in those days it was closer to the start of the season, and the melons were just getting good.
Fireworks were not "safe and sane", but UNSAFE and INSANE, and glorious and treacherous. Every Roman Candle had the warning "do not hold in hand" that was universally ignored. I remember a Roman Candle that my uncle was holding the middle of in his hand, firing one...two shots then BLAM exploding just below his hand and firing the six or eight remaining shots downward and outward all at once. Had he been holding it two inches lower,well, that would have been tragic.
sparklers were made on wire that glowed redhot..and we THREW THEM, still glowing when they neared their finish. And we THREW firecrackers, too. Light the fuse, let it get going good, and throw it high as you can. The idea was to get an "airburst". Throw too soon and it falls quietly to the ground before it pops. Hold it too long and bursts close to your hand. That stinging you feel, well, that was a reminder to throw sooner on the next one.
But all my vivid memories of fireworks do not date back to the UNSAFE AND INSANE days. Last year at the old folks home we had a delightful beautiful display in the drive way. SAFE and SANE works now are fantastic with fountains of ever changing colors and flames, and they whistle and scream.
I do miss the tremendous booms though.
See entry below... Which one was best buy?
27 cent lemon 20 cent lemon 10 cent lime
170 grams 40 grams 50 grams
I can't do that much math. Which one is the best buy?
I am happiest with the limes....like to slice 'em in half and suck the life out of 'em.
Anybody got some Tequila?
