Sunday, May 11, 2008

Bittersweet

   This is a bittersweet time of life.

   It is bitter because...

   ...my colon cancer has made my belly ache hard to take much too often,  Little knife blades stick me in my tummy.

   ...my charming tablemate, whose company made meals a pleasant experience, is in the hospital in a coma. My cardplaying buddy, 87, with whom I played our silly kid's game of Rummy every single night, fell in the shower, broke his hip and is also in the hospital.

   ...my neurothesia has reached my hands and made typing hard to manage,  Writing is my escape, my job, my hobby, and it is growing increasingly hard to do.

But it is a sweet time too because...

   ...I am surrounded by friends and family who understand and support me, comfort me, and do the things for me that I can no longer do.  This old folks home is the place to be when you can no longer do for yourself.

   ...I still sleep well, albeit in four hour periods between visits to the bathroom, and escape the pain for eight hours a day.

   ...It is a time of remembrance and reflection of my life.  It has been a full life.  It has handed me the best and worst life has to offer.  I have had delightful companions and raised wonderful children. I have swum in two oceans and walked on two continients. I have piloted my owh airplane, captained my own boat, driven cars, trucks, tanks, and motocyles. I have never been without food or shelter. But I have been blown up, crippled, divorced, hospitalized, arrested and jailed. I have been a hero and a pariah. I have had the best and worst of life.

   This is a bittersweet time.  Life is (was) worth living.


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21 comments:

garnett109 said...

My friend and it still is.
Through your journeys of life you have enrichened me with all that you write.
Hang in there Friend God Bless!

frankandmary said...

Life is worth living.  And your insights are so worth reading.  
~Mary

msecz said...

sorry to hear of your pain, hope it eases and hope your can find something to ease the pain in your fingers too. I enjoy your journal so much
Sandra

nightmaremom said...

life IS worth living...  you show it in your words.
Sending strength and good vibes.
d

sugarsweet056 said...

Life IS STILL worth living, your entry proves that...you continue to fight!
I'm putting your name in my Prayer Box, that God give you some comfort.
God bless,
Sugar

motoxmom72 said...

LIFE is so worth everything we go through.  Ups, downs, and everything in between.  Age is just a number.  Humor is a daily gift everyone needs.  Life is what we make it.  Life is what we share with others.  You share YOUR LIFE with us with your amazing words.  I shall add you to my prayers.
Hugs,
Gina
http://journals.aol.com/motoxmom72/GinasWeigtLossJourney

valphish said...

Chuck, I am so sorry about your belly.  Can they do anything for you?  You have been such an inspiration for me... You remain in my prayers... You have been one of the brightest spots in my blog-reading!!  Yes, life is worth living!!  Love, Val xox
http://journals.aol.com/valphish/ThereisaSeason

preciousone25 said...

I just found your journal through Mary, and I love it.... will go back and read some of your wonderful words of wisdom.  I'm sorry about the pain you are in, I'll say prayers for your comfort and for your friends, too.  Sounds like you've had a fascinating life, can't wait to read more..... Life IS worth living, and you're still doing a great job at it!!!!

Joann

madcobug said...

I am so sorry that your tummy still hurts. You have had a full life that is for sure. Some memories you can thimk back on. Helen

hugsdoodlewacky said...

((((((((((((((((((CHUCK))))))))))))))))))))I am sorry you are feeling sick with your tummy.I pray you feel better soon.You have lived a long life.I like reading your Journal.

jeadie05 said...

Sorry about the knives in your tummy ,I loved reading this entry ,summing up your life ..hang on in there boyo ...love Jan xx

fisherkristina said...

Chuck, Grandfather Groundhog, hang on for awhile longer if you can.  We still need you.  So sorry that your typing is becoming difficult.  If I was there you could speak and I would type for you.  *Sigh*.  You have so much to offer.  I always wanted you to write that coffee table book.  Perhaps your blog can be made into that book.  I would still bye.  So would others.  Yes, it IS that good.  Have your daughter publish you, okay?  I am not just kidding you, or patronizing, please do.  I don't know what else to say, except cling to Jesus, call on Him in this time, give yourself to Him completely, so you can live forever with Him in heaven.  That is the most important thing.  Love you,

Krissy
http://journals.aol.com/fisherkristina/SometimesIThink

onestrangecat said...

Came her through Mary.  Sorry life is so bittersweet for you right now.  Hang in there.

Kathy

lisa41076 said...

Chuck, sending up prayers for you , Hugs Lisa

gehi6 said...

I came by way of Mary and at 76 I can appreciate this entry a lot.  You have summed up your life well, both the bad and the good.  Gerry http://journals.aol.com/gehi6/daughters-of-the-shadow-men/  

helmswondermom said...

I am so sorry your two friends are both in the hospital and hope they will return to you soon.  You made me smile calling your nightly rummy games "silly".  My mother and sister play daily games with my brother, who is a semi-invalid.  He would miss that greatly if he had no one to play with.  I'm so sorry you are in such pain, and I hope that you will be able to continue writing as much as you can since it gives you pleasure.  I am enjoying making your acquaintance through your journal and must thank Mary for sending me here.  Be well!
Lori
http://journals.aol.com/helmswondermom/DustyPages/

jaykolb said...

Um, arrested and jailed?  You'll have to tell us that story, or did I miss it?

sanguinelioness said...

I, too, came by way of Mary. I read this last night but was so exhausted I did not comment. Just wanted you to know I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. You sound like such an amazing man...someone I would like to get to know better. If you don't mind, I will put you on alerts. I am so sorry for your physical and emotional pain at this time.
I do think Norman Cousins was onto something, but in addition to that, I think we need human touch....maybe a hug.
Sending you one.
Laura

ceilisundancer said...

I'm glad you've had a full life.

And, hey, you certainly appear to have maintained your mental acuity, and somehow, you're getting your thoughts out to the world!

May your today be a little bit brighter:)

-- Robin

wwfbison said...

I came to your journal through Mary.  I am sorry you and your dear friends are going through such difficult times.  To hear you speak of the Blessings you have is remarkable.  Many never stop to see the good through the bad....you are inspiring and I wish you the very best.  I will keep you & your friends in my Prayers.
Lisa

pprrrr39 said...

I am so very sorry that i am late in responding to this........... I came via Mary's entry.

I am so very sorry that you are having a hard time at the moment, it must leave a void in your life not having your clesest friends around you at the moment.

You sound like you have had a very interesting life, travelling to such wonderful places and having had the opportunities to be able to do this.

I hope and pray that you find some comfort in knowing that others are out there thinking of you

hugs Jayne